


Accidentally in Love

by NikAdair



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cheating without actually Cheating, College AU, Experimenting with Feelings, Really Klance are just Bad(TM) at Feelings, Secret Dating but Not Dating, Supportive Brothers Shiro and Adam, mentions of drinking, slight angst with a happy ending, slight suggestive themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28457094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikAdair/pseuds/NikAdair
Summary: It'd started with a party. A little too much drinking. A kiss he didn't remember, with a boy he'd only known for a few months. But somehow, Keith had gotten himself thrown in a world he wasn't used to. A world he didn't know how to navigate. Feelings that were foreign yet familiar. With someone that seemed just as confused as he him. A situation that was terrifying yet exciting. One that could end in a disaster much larger than they could ever know. How will these two navigate this maze without hurting the other?
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	Accidentally in Love

**Author's Note:**

> Ya know, I really contemplated posting this fic. Originally, it was written for Klance Pinefest, but I never got the chance to post it since both my artists had dropped out. But after a couple months of actually thinking, I decided that I didn't want to put the time I spent on this to waste. Besides, I actually really like this fic, which is rare.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

“I think my bloodstream is more coffee than blood at this point.” Keith looked down at Pidge, who was nursing their fourth coffee (that he knew of).

“Maybe you shouldn’t be taking a 7am class,” he said, laughing at the glare he received. Normally, it would’ve been intimidating. But when said person’s hair was somehow still disheveled after a full day of classes and looked as though their coffee was their only lifeline, it was hard to take the glaring seriously.

“Says the one who has already stated that they want to die from their classes. Which are significantly easier, if I may add,” Pidge countered. Keith shook his head.

The conversation died off from there, both too tired from the sudden shift in sleep schedule and need to be social for classes to do much other than walk. They were headed to Hunk’s, their machine savvy friend who promised to have cookies made by the time they got there. It may or may not have been the only thing getting Keith through the day at the moment.

The trek there wasn’t terrible. Hunk lived a few blocks away from the music building (something Keith always bragged to Pidge about: “I could 100% get there before you if I quit waiting for you”) and they knew the route almost perfectly. Cross the highway, walk down this street, take a left on that one, walk a few more blocks towards the train tracks, and ta da! Their home away from home.

They walked into the lobby, and the people at the front desk glanced up, giving them a smile and a wave. “You know, maybe we can convince Hunk to let us move in,” Pidge said, steering them to the elevator.

“We can barely afford our apartment. There’s no way we could afford rent here.” Pidge nodded, sipping at their coffee. Keith hummed, and they rode the rest of the way listening to the terrible choice in elevator music.

Three floors later, the doors opened and they stepped into the hall. The carpet was as tacky as ever -- the generic rose design that you found in hotel halls -- and was a stark contrast to the almost too bright yellow walls. Why anyone thought this would be a good idea for an apartment building, neither of them would ever know. They trekked down the hall, counting doors until they got to Hunk’s.

He never kept the door locked, so the doorknob turned with the same familiarity of everything else in the building. “Hunk, we’re home,” Pidge called, pushing past Keith. He closed the door behind them, stepping out of the way as shoes came flying towards him from the living room.

“You wanna, oh I don’t know, _not_ try to kill me with shoes?” Keith grumbled, slipping out of his own. A pillow came flying at him, and he caught it right before it hit his face. He glared over at Pidge, who was busy snickering while they got their laptop out and plugged it in. “Damn gremlin.”

“You guys better not be destroying my living room,” Hunk called from down the hall. “I just got everything looking presentable.”

“ _We’re_ not, but Pidge on the other hand--” Keith was cut off by another pillow, this one hitting the side of his head. He spit hair out of his mouth and threw the first pillow back at them. Unfortunately, as was the nature of his luck, a figure walked out of the hall, getting hit in the face.

Pidge cackled from their spot on the couch while the figure sputtered, staggering back a few steps. Keith dropped the second pillow. “God, I’m sorry. I didn’t know there was anyone else here. That was meant for my--” He got cut off as the figure lobbed the pillow back at him. Keith caught it in time, looking up.

The figure turned out to be a boy around his age, if Keith had to guess based on his looks. He was tall, maybe an inch or two taller than him, with sunbaked skin. His hair looked like he’d just woken up, sticking up slightly on one side. He was wearing gym shorts and a blue tank. Keith looked up to his face, surprised to see that he wasn’t angry. A little annoyed, maybe, but not angry.

“Hunk told me there’d be people coming over. I just didn’t know they’d be this aggressive. Are you always like this?” the boy asked, putting his hands on his hips. Keith frowned a little, tossing the forgotten pillow into the living room.

“Hunk didn’t tell us there’d be another person here. Are you always this rude to new people?” Keith shot back, instinctually sounding defensive.

The boy frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. He opened his mouth to speak, but Hunk came walking down the hall, looking between them. “Oh god, please don’t start this.” He sighed, wiping a hand down his face. “Keith, this is Lance. Lance, Keith. The one in the living room is Pidge.”

Keith stuck his hand out in an act of civility, but the boy -- Lance -- didn’t take it, instead walking into the kitchen. He dropped his hand, looking at Hunk. “Who the heck is that guy? Why is he so rude?”

“He’s an old friend of mine. We ended up going to different colleges, but he just recently transferred here and is living with me.” Hunk looked into the kitchen, chewing his bottom lip. “He’s not normally like this, but he’s a little overprotective at times. Give him some time. I think you’ll be good friends.”

Keith looked at Lance, who was busy making a smoothie. For Hunk’s sake, he’d try to be friends with him. He turned and walked into the living room, falling onto the couch and practically crushing Pidge.

“Keith, get your fat ass off of me before I throw you,” Pidge said, shoving at his shoulder. Keith wriggled a little, getting more comfortable. “Keith, I swear to god!”

“We both know you can’t throw me,” Keith said, stretching and practically smothering them.

“They might not be able to, but I can. So sit up before you lose your couch privileges,” Hunk said, nudging his legs. Keith stood, jumping away as Pidge tried to swipe at him. He bumped into Lance, who made an annoyed noise.

“First the pillow, now my smoothie? Jeez, what a great first impression,” Lance said sarcastically, walking around him to sit on the arm of the couch next to Hunk. Keith stared at him for a second, trying to keep his anger from boiling over.

“Soooo,” Hunk said, looking between them, “I know I promised you cookies and stuff, but I didn’t have time to bake anything.” Keith slid to the ground, groaning alongside Pidge. “But how about I make us something for dinner instead? I have a new recipe for dumplings that I want to try.”

They all made various sounds of agreement, the tension from earlier subsiding a little. Though it didn’t stop Keith from sneaking glances over at Lance. He was a little annoyed that he seemed entitled and arrogant. Lance caught him looking, and Keith looked away. _Way to go Keith, he probably thinks you’re a creep now._

He peeked up again, seeing Lance eyeing him while he took a drink of his smoothie. He winked, and Keith furrowed his brow. Lance just looked away, pulling out his phone.

“...Keith. Earth to Keith. Come in Keith.” Keith shook his head, looking up at Pidge. “You gonna have any input?”

“Uh…” He had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

Pidge sighed, turning to Lance. “Lance, do you have any input?”

“I think Big Hero 6 is the obvious choice,” Lance said, still looking at his phone. He took another drink of his smoothie.

Pidge and Hunk turned to him, basically asking if that was cool with him without actually asking if it was cool with him. “It’s better than most,” he muttered, knowing it didn’t really matter what he thought. He’d get outvoted anyway.

“So it’s settled,” Hunk said, standing. “I’ll get dinner started and we can eat and watch the movie. You wanna come help me Lance?”

Lance nodded, standing and finishing his smoothie. Keith looked away. _Why am I so obsessed with his smoothie?_ They walked into the kitchen and Pidge nudged his shoulder. “You alright there? You’ve been on edge since we got here.”

Keith sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against the couch. “Yeah, just tired is all.” Not the whole truth, but enough of the truth. Pidge wasn’t one to bug him about this stuff. Other things, yeah, but feelings were one of those things they’d made a silent agreement not to bring up.

“If you say so,” they said, definitely not convinced. “What do you think of Lance?”

“I think he’s a little too cocky for my liking. Almost like when I met you for the first time.” Pidge half-heartedly kicked his arm and he quirked a smile.

“Like anyone could ever be cockier than you.”

“I don’t know, Matt’s pretty damn cocky,” Keith said in his defense.

Pidge hummed. “Him and Shiro are both pretty cocky. Guess it’s what makes them such good friends.” He nodded in agreement. _Lance is still cockier though._

-.-.-

It was no surprise that dinner was amazing.

“I’m so glad it tasted good,” Hunk said with relief. “I was really worried that I might’ve over cooked them or over seasoned the soup.”

Keith shook his head, setting his bowl on the floor next to him. “Like you could ever overcook something. Do you not remember how you are when it comes to Thanksgiving? You literally stand by the oven making sure the turkey is cooked to perfection.”

Pidge laughed. “Or when you bake cookies. It’s like you have a sixth sense for when things are at their peak and are ready to come out of the oven.”

“I guess you’re right,” Hunk said bashfully.

“He’s always been like that,” Lance said, leaning around Hunk to look at them. “Even in high school, back when he was starting to get serious about cooking, he always knew when things were done.”

Hunk pushed him and Lance laughed, continuing. “I remember when he first tried to make bread. It was flaky and fluffy but, man, did it taste awful. Perfectly cooked but even my dog wouldn’t eat it.”

“Says the one who burned pasta sauce the first time he made it,” Hunk teased. Lance reeled back in fake hurt but Keith couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re kidding, right? Sauce is the easiest thing to make!” he laughed.

Lance leaned forward again, staring pointedly at Keith. “I’ll have you know the only reason I burned it was because I was dealing with an emergency.”

Hunk turned to look back at him. “By emergency, he means he had to speed write an essay that was due that night.”

“Still an emergency!”

“I would hardly call that an emergency,” Keith said, leaning against the couch. He closed his eyes, feeling exhaustion starting to tug at his body. It wasn’t that late, just after seven, but he’d been up since six that morning and his social battery was starting to run low.

Pidge picked up on it and cut into the conversation. “How bout that movie? I mean, without the cookies, why else are we here?”

Keith smiled a little and his shoulders shook with laughter. “To hang out with me, obviously,” Hunk said, laughing to himself. He knew that they loved being here, even if they wouldn’t admit it.

A blanket hit Keith’s head and he pulled it into his lap, looking to who threw it. Lance was trying not to laugh while he looked challengingly at him. “Payback for the pillow earlier, sleepy head.”

He sneered at him and Lance started laughing. Hunk pushed him a little and he made a show of falling off the arm of the couch to the floor. “Hunk! How could you? The betrayal!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hunk said, rolling his eyes and smiling. “You’ve got no right to tease Keith about being tired. You came home and went straight to bed without so much as a hello. He at least has been up all day.”

Lance shook his head, keeping a smile on his face. They all knew he was teasing him. None of them (as far as he knew) ever really meant any of the teasing they said. Keith looked away, settling against the couch and wrapping the blanket around him. He could hear Pidge and Hunk murmuring above him, but he wasn’t too interested in what they were saying.

The movie started playing and although Keith would deny it later, he fell asleep within the first few minutes. When he awoke again, the credits had started to play and the sky was dark outside. At some point someone had turned the lamp off, given him a pillow, and he’d laid down.

He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked behind him. Pidge was curled up against the arm of the couch asleep, and Hunk’s head was tipped forward, light snoring coming from him. He heard sniffling and looked at Lance, who was wiping his face. 

“You good?” he whispered. Lance jumped and looked at him, slightly horrified. He dropped his hands, biting his lip.

“Yeah. Sad ending,” Lance whispered back, voice shaking a little.

Keith laughed a little, nodding. “Yeah, it is.” He stood and stretched, feeling his back pop in a few places. “What time is it?”

Lance pulled out his phone, squinting a little as the screen lit up, lighting up his face. “Just after nine.”

“Huh.” Keith pulled out his phone, scrolling through his notifications. The movie credits continued to play in the background, and he could feel the awkwardness in the room settling around them. He pocketed his phone. “Sorry about earlier.”

“Nah, it's fine. I can be a little grumpy when I first wake up,” Lance said, looking up at him. “I’m just glad you didn’t spill my smoothie all over me. _That_ I probably wouldn’t have forgiven you for.”

Keith laughed, shaking his head. “It was an honest mistake. I’m not used to their being another person around.”

Lance’s smile dropped a little and he bit his lip again. “I’m not used to sharing Hunk,” he said quietly. “It was always just the two of us back in high school.” He sighed and put his phone away. In the light of the credits, he looked a little sad.

“We weren’t very popular. Hunk was always seen as the geeky kid cause he was just so good at school. And that made me the weirdo who hung out with him.” He sank lower against the couch, pulling his knees to his chest. “It’s hard when you’ve only really got one friend. You get close. And when you leave for a few years…”

He trailed off, looking down at his knees. There was a bitterness that had started to creep into his voice, and even though Keith had only known him a few hours, he didn’t like hearing it. He walked over and sat next to him. Close enough that he was there, but not so close as to encroach on his space.

Lance shook his head and smiled, looking down at him. “I’m just glad he was able to make some friends here. I was scared he’d end up being alone.” He laughed to himself. “Now if only he would get a girlfriend. Then I _definitely_ wouldn’t have to worry about him.”

Keith smiled and they fell into a comfortable silence. The music from the credits played in the background while they were both lost in their own thoughts. There was stirring behind them and Keith turned to see Hunk starting to wake up.

“What time is it?” he mumbled, stretching his arms over his head. Lance laughed a little beside him and stood, offering Keith a hand. He took it, letting himself be pulled up.

“Time to go to bed, big guy,” Lance said. Hunk nodded sleepily, nudging Pidge until they woke up grudgingly. Keith walked over, standing in front of them.

“Come on, up you go.” Pidge swatted at Keith’s hands but stood anyway. They walked to the door -- Keith leading a half sleeping Pidge and Lance walking next to a swaying Hunk. “Text us when you get home,” Hunk said through a yawn.

Keith laughed and nodded. Hunk wrapped them in a sleepy hug before walking towards his room. Pidge leaned against his side, using him to stay upright while they tried to fall asleep again.

“It was nice meeting you Lance,” Keith said quietly so as to not disturb Pidge. Lance smiled, nodding. He offered a hand and Keith took it.

“Glad you’re not as much of an asshole as I first thought you were,” Lance laughed. Keith rolled his eyes but smiled. “Be safe getting home.”

They walked out of the apartment and headed back to their own. Pidge was half asleep the whole time, so it was slow going. Not that Keith was complaining. It was quiet out and the sky was clear, so he could see all the stars.

His mind wandered back to what Lance had told him. He knew what it was like to feel like an outcast in school. He’d been the same way. Most people had been weary of him because of how he looked -- long hair, leather jacket, combat boots, and always wearing earbuds. It’s not that he ever intended on looking scary, it just ended up being like that. Kept the bullies away at least.

Pidge, however, wasn’t as lucky. They hadn’t grown into their ‘take no shit’ attitude yet, and given that they were short and a bookwork, they made for an easy target. Matt wasn’t there to help, because he’d graduated the year before they started school. Thankfully, Keith had been there to help, and over the course of high school, they grew impossibly close.

Naturally, they’d chosen to go to the same school. Or rather, Pidge had chosen a school and Keith followed, because he really didn’t care where he went. Their first year, they had been in separate dorms due to the whole gender separation. Keith had gotten lucky and had gotten a dorm by himself. Pidge had a very obnoxious and very preppy roommate, so Keith would sneak them into his dorm.

Needless to say, when they finally got the chance to move off campus and live together, they took it. That was also around the time that they’d started hanging out with Hunk. Pidge had met him first, seeing as they both major in math related fields, and since Pidge and Keith were a package deal, it was a few days later that Keith met him.

He thought back to Lance and how he and Hunk had been friends for probably as long as he and Pidge had. He seemed to fit in well with everyone, so maybe he’d give him a chance. He didn’t want to cause any ripples between him and Hunk. It wouldn’t be fair to him. He’d try, for Hunk's sake. And maybe cause a part of him wanted to be friends with Lance.

They headed into their apartment building, and Keith sent Hunk a quick text saying that they’d made it home. Pidge muttered something about wanting coffee and Keith laughed. “No coffee for you. Go to bed.”

They grumbled but walked to their room. Keith did a quick clean of the kitchen -- putting dishes away and throwing away their trash from breakfast -- before walking to his own room. He didn’t bother with changing, settling with kicking off his shoes and jeans, and fell into bed.

His phone buzzed and when he looked down, it was a text from an unknown number.

**UNKNOWN** : Glad you got home safe. Sorry, stole your number from Hunk.   
**UNKNOWN** : This is Lance by the way

He laughed to himself. It’s honestly something he could see Lance doing, from the little he’d known him for. He added Lance to his contacts before sending him a response.

**Keith** : You know, I’m honestly not surprised that you did.   
**Lance** : Should I be offended? Cause I feel like I should be offended.   
**Keith** : Take it how you want.

Lance took a little longer to respond to this.

**Lance** : I’m taking it as a compliment at my cleverness.

Keith laughed at this. Out of everything, clever would not be how he’d describe him. He didn’t get a chance to respond as Lance sent another text.

**Lance** : It was nice to meet you and Pidge today. Y’all seem like pretty cool people. And sorry again for the grumpiness. Woke up waaaaaay too tired.   
**Keith** : Nah, don’t worry about it. Pidge gets the same way, so I understand. Sorry for the pillow to the face. That was definitely meant for them.   
**Lance** : You’re good. Anyway, I’m gonna head to bed cause I’m hella tired. Sleep well Keith.   
**Keith** : You too Lance.

Lance sent back a thumbs up and a sleeping face emoji and Keith rolled his eyes, smiling. Yeah, maybe they could actually be friends.

-.-.-

Keith wasn’t entirely sure why he’d agreed to come out. Parties weren’t his thing. Hunk and Pidge weren’t even going to be there. They were being responsible and studying for exams. Which is exactly what he should’ve been doing. Yet here he was. In front of some frat house.

He didn’t really want to go in. The music was loud enough that even though he was down near the street, he could hear every word. There were plenty of bodies passing by open windows, backlit by colour changing lights. More people stood outside the house, leaning against the walls.

_Brrrrrring!_ He jumped a little, having forgotten his phone was on sound. He pulled it out, the screen lighting up to show a text from Lance. 

**Lance** : You here yet??

Keith shook his head, looking back up at the house. “Why did I agree to this?” he muttered. He texted Lance back ( _Yeah, heading in now)_ and walked towards the door. People looked at him as he passed, and he shrunk a little into his jacket.

The closer he got, the louder the music got. He scrunched his nose a little. Definitely not his taste, definitely not his scene. The entry hall was covered in purple light, and he stood in the doorway blinking while his vision adjusted. There were people everywhere, and he pushed past them, muttering _pardon me_ and _excuse me_ as he went.

A hand tugged on his jacket and Keith jumped. He tugged his arm away, turning to see Lance standing there. His hair was disheveled and a layer of sweat clung to his forehead. He was laughing, a red cup in his other hand while the one that had grabbed him was still outstretched.

“Jeez, jumpy much?” Lance said, having to almost shout over the music. Keith rolled his eyes, readjusting his jacket.

“Unlike you, parties aren’t really my thing,” Keith replied, stepping closer to Lance to make conversation easier.

Lance nodded his head to the side a little, looking like he agreed with him. This close, Keith could smell alcohol coming from him. His eyes were shining a little, and they looked a little unfocused. In the purple light, they looked darker than usual, a little stormy. But that could’ve also have been from the alcohol.

A hand snapped in front of him, and Keith blinked. “You good there dude? You spaced out.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Keith said, stretching his neck a little. He looked down at Lance’s cup. “Whatcha drinking?”

Lance looked in his cup, bobbing his head a little. “I think it’s vodka and Sprite.”

Keith quirked an eyebrow. “You think?” Lance shrugged, taking a swig of it.

“Nope, I know.” Keith shook his head. “Do you want something?” Lance asked, looking back up at him.

He took a second to really think. _Do I want something?_ Alcohol wasn’t something new to him. He’d often snuck some of Shiro’s back in high school (not well, he might add), and he’d been plenty drunk during his time in college. That’s just the way stress got to him. “Yeah, sure.”

“Cool. I make a mean Jack and Coke,” Lance said, grabbing Keith’s hand. It was warm against his, bordering on too warm. But he let Lance pull him out of the hall and into the kitchen, weaving through bodies as the air grew stuffier and smelt more like sweat and alcohol.

The kitchen was less crowded, which Keith was thankful for. Though it wasn’t much cooler than the rest of the house. Lance let go of him, walking over to the counter, and Keith took off his jacket. He sighed a little, grateful to relieve himself of at least a little warmth.

Keith leaned against the wall, watching Lance pour his drink. Despite the fact that he’d been drinking, he moved with quite a bit of ease, like it was second nature. Something he could do in his sleep. Almost like the way waves moved.

Lance turned, smiling brightly. He pushed the cup towards Keith. “One Jack and Coke for the guy with the gloves,” he said, laughing a little. Keith rolled his eyes, taking a drink. His eyes widened a little. _Compared to what I make, this is pretty damn good._

“Not bad. Could use a little more Jack though,” Keith said, laughing into his cup as Lance gawked at him. “I’m kidding.” He pushed off the wall, walking around the island. “So, what exactly does one do at a party?”

An honest question, considering this was the first frat party Keith had been to. Shiro and Matt weren’t the partying types, and his only real friends were Pidge and Hunk, and they’re idea of a party was a movie marathon or gaming tournament with pizza or Chinese food.

“Well, you just mingle with people and have fun,” Lance said. Keith stopped on the far side of the island and looked at him.

“Mingle and have fun, huh? Sounds pretty boring.”

Lance shrugged, taking a drink from his cup. Keith did the same, loving the way the drink washed over him. It _was_ pretty damn good. A couple of people walked into the kitchen, talking loudly, and Keith backed away from the island as one of them all but pushed past him. He scowled a little, clutching his drink to his chest.

He rolled his eyes and gestured to Lance to follow him, walking into the next room over. It was quieter than the others, less people in it, and he sat on one the couches. This room was darker, lit with a strip of LEDs around the edge of the ceiling. They shifted through a few colours, mostly darkers shades. He could still hear the booming bass from wherever the speakers were.

Lance sat next to him, the couch giving a little. It was a little awkward sitting there. Neither knew what to say. Though in their defense, they hadn’t been friends for that long -- they’d only met around two months ago. So there was still a bit of awkwardness between them

Keith glanced over at Lance, seeing him on his phone. He couldn’t tell what he was scrolling through, the screen was too dark. But the little bit of light from his screen lit up his features. Shadows played across his face from his phone, a second darker set coming from the LEDs. If he was being honest, they made him all the more attractive.

He mentally shook his head. _He is not attractive. Handsome, yeah, but not attractive._ Keith looked away, taking a large drink from his cup, feeling the burn in the back of his throat. He didn’t think Lance was attractive. They were friends, how could he? It didn’t stop him from looking at him again.

His eyes were shining a little. They looked stormy in this light, but they were still just as mesmerising. _No, not mesmerising. Stop that._ Lance shifted a little and Keith looked away again, fumbling for his phone to distract himself. He opened Twitter, scrolling through his feed without actually absorbing what he was seeing. His eyes wandered back to Lance.

They tracked the shape of his jaw, how much more defined it looked with the shadows playing across it. They traveled to his lips -- the curve of them as he pursed them at whatever he saw. How he chewed the corner of them slightly. How soft they looked. He wondered what they tasted like. _Stop that!_

He took another large swig of his drink, practically chugging it. His eyes watered from the burn of the alcohol, but it kept him distracted. He could already feel it starting to work through his system. His head felt a little lighter and he felt a little warmer. He set his cup down and went back to his phone.

It didn’t last long, though. Lance set his cup down next to his, lounging back. “You’re on drink duty next. And I _will_ be judging how you make it.” There was humour in his voice, and it took everything in him to not look over. He already knew that he would be smiling, his eyes glinting a little. He’d seen it plenty enough to know.

Keith rolled his eyes (which he regretted seconds later when his head spun a little), the tiniest hint of a smile starting to form. “If I’m on drink duty, then you don’t get to complain about what I bring you,” he said. Lance made a noise and Keith laughed a little.

“You better not bring me something like straight vodka, cause I will chug it and throw it back up in your shoes,” Lance said.

“In my shoes?”

“Yes, in your shoes.” He said it with such confidence that Keith was half convinced he actually would. He looked over at him, seeing Lance staring him down. His pupils were slightly blown, and his face was flushed.

Keith walked into the kitchen and took a moment to breathe. “What the hell is wrong with me?” he muttered to himself. It had to be the alcohol. There was no way he’d ever think those things sober, right? He poured himself another Jack and Coke and made Lance a Screwdriver, partly because he didn’t know what Lance liked and partly because he really didn’t know a lot about making drinks.

He gave himself another minute in the kitchen before walking back, blinking a little as his eyes adjusted to the shift in lighting. Lance was where he’d left him, and he looked up when Keith handed him his drink.

“Should I trust this drink?” Lance said teasingly.

“That’s for you to decide,” Keith said, taking a large swig of his. It was a little too strong, and the Jack burned on its way down. But maybe the alcohol would help drown out the fact that the pleased hum Lance made when he took a sip of his drink made his body thrum with tension. Or the way he looked at him surprised made him want to lean forward and kiss him, just to see that look again.

“This is pretty good Mullet. Who knew you had any taste in drinks?” Lance said, taking a larger drink. _I’ve got taste in other things too_ , he thought, looking Lance over again. Lance caught him looking and Keith looked away quickly, taking a drink and nearly coughing as it caught in his throat. If his thoughts kept up like this, it was going to be a long, long night.

-.-.-

Keith woke up the next morning with a slight headache and his mouth feeling exceptionally dry. His eyelids were heavy, and his body felt like he’d worked out too much the day before. It was too warm under his blanket, and he tried to sit up, only to find something keeping him in place. He forced his eyes open, turning his head just enough to see a sleeping Lance behind him. With his arm around his waist. And no shirt on.

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, trying not to freak out. _Why is Lance here? Why is he shirtless? Why am I shirtless? What happened last night?_ Lance moved a little, and Keith froze, making sure he was still asleep. Lance pulled away a little, mumbling something he couldn’t make out, and his grip loosened. He used that as an opportunity to slip out of bed, landing on the floor with a soft _thud_.

Lance shifted again, pulling the blanket closer to his chest, but stayed asleep. Keith looked down at himself, sighing in relief at seeing he at least still had his pants on. _Which means nothing happened between us last night._ He tiptoed around the bed, collecting his phone from the floor as he passed, and walked out of his room, closing the door softly.

He walked into the kitchen and jumped a little when he found Pidge sitting on the island, book in hand. “You could at least put a shirt on,” Pidge said, not looking up from their book. “I’d rather not see whatever may be on your skin.”

Keith’s face flushed and he sputtered, grabbing the hoodie from the stool. “There is nothing on my skin. Nothing happened,” he grumbled, nudging their arm on his way to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water and guzzled half of it before turning and leaning against the counter across from them.

Pidge looked up at him, one eyebrow quirked. “Right. Cause the fact that I came home to find you both passed out on the couch practically becoming one while being shirtless means that nothing happened.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. _Was that what happened last night?_ He honestly didn’t know. Everything was kind of a blur after his third or fourth drink. “Lance practically carried your ass to your room. How drunk were you?”

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Keith lied. Pidge pursed their lips but didn’t say anything. Keith finished the water, tossing the bottle into the recycling box. “I’m gonna go for a run. Lance is still asleep. Just…” Keith trailed off, not really sure what to say. What was there to say?

“Yeah, yeah. Lips sealed. It’s not my problem anyway.” They looked back down at their book, flipping the page. Keith walked to the bathroom, thankful that he kept a pair of shorts in there, and looked at himself in the mirror.

There were purple circles under his eyes, but those weren’t anything new. His hair looked like a rat’s nest, and he tried to run his fingers through it. Unsuccessfully, if the tears in his eyes from them getting caught on the knots was any indication. He made a frustrated noise and threw it up into a messy bun.

Pidge’s words circled his thoughts: _I’d rather not see whatever may be on your skin._ He tugged the collar of the hoodie down, looking over his neck and collar bones. There wasn’t a single mark on them, and it loosened the knot in his stomach.

He slipped on his running shoes and jogged out of the apartment, swiping a pair of headphones from the table as he passed. It was still pretty early, and it was a Saturday, so the lobby was basically empty aside from the desk staff. He pushed through the doors and a shiver went through him as the autumn air hit him, making him pause for a second.

The sun had barely risen, trying to chase away the night. Everything was bathed in either blues or oranges where the shadows pulled away. There was just the slightest hint of pink in the sky, the stars starting to fade. Keith smiled. This was the best time of day.

He plugged in his headphones, turned on a random playlist, and took off down the street. He had no set route, just made random turns while he ran, letting the music wash over him. His stomach was rebelling a little, the water sloshing around, and his head felt stuffy and full. _I really should’ve eaten something._

Keith turned down a road and saw a park not too far ahead. He jogged to the bench, bending over as he caught his breath. The sky had lightened considerably, the shadows lengthening with the rising sun. A few cars passed by him, but none took interest.

He sat down, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Without the beating of his feet on the sidewalk drowning out his thoughts, all he could think about was trying to figure out what had happened the night before.

Chewing his lip, Keith opened his messages. The top thread was from Lance, and his stomach twisted at the thought of him. Underneath it was his family chat with Adam and Shiro. His thumb hovered over it. He knew they’d be the best people to talk to. But it was still really early, would they even be up?

He tapped on the thread, typing out a quick message asking if he could call them. Adam called him a second later. “Keith, what’s wrong?” Worry was clear in his voice, as well as the tiredness of early morning. His stomach twisted again. He hated making people worry.

“Nothing, I just…” Keith trailed off, once again hit with not knowing what to say. He heard shuffling on the other end, and the sound of a door opening and closing. There was more shuffling and a huff as Keith assumed Adam sat on the couch. He could picture him sitting crossed legged with his back against the arm, his phone sitting on the cushion in front of him.

“You don’t ever call, and you especially don’t ever text asking to call. Something’s up. Whatever it is, you know you can tell me,” Adam said. Keith bit his lip, pulling his knees towards his chest.

“Lance and I were at a party last night, and we were drinking, cause you know, it’s a party. But anyway, I don’t remember much after like drink three or four, but I woke up this morning to us in my bed shirtless, and I don’t even remember coming home, let alone what happened after, and--” Keith cut himself off, feeling his stomach twist.

Adam was quiet on the other end, and Keith’s heart started racing. He racked his brain for any detail about last night, any inkling as to what could’ve happened, but he couldn’t remember anything. He jumped when he heard Adam speak.

“So. You brought a boy home. While you were both drunk. And neither of you know what happened? Is that right?” He wasn’t patronizing. Wasn’t angry. Wasn’t disappointed. Just saying what they knew. Except--

“I don’t know if he knows what happened.” Adam stayed quiet, and Keith’s face flushed a little in embarrassment. “I kind of left him asleep and went running and am currently sitting at a park.”

The phone crackled with Adam’s sigh, and Keith could very clearly imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose, his glasses off kilter. “You left him asleep in your apartment. Does Pidge know he’s there?” Keith didn’t say anything, and Adam sighed again. “Keith, you really dropped the ball with this.”

“I didn’t do anything!” he half shouted. His shoulders slumped forward and he put his forehead on his knees. “I don’t think I did anything. I hope I didn’t do anything.” Keith’s voice dropped to just above a whisper. “I don’t even know if he likes guys.”

Adam was quick to respond. “So you admit you like him?”

“No!” Keith bit his lip. “Yes!” His stomach twisted tighter. “I don’t know! Does it matter?”

The question hung in the air for a minute, eating away at Keith. _Do I like him?_ “It kind of does.” There was something akin to finality in Adam’s voice, and Keith’s stomach fell. Of course it mattered. It always mattered. But if Lance didn’t like guys, did it even matter? He’d just be chasing after a crush that would only end with him getting hurt.

“I know you’re freaking out. Stop freaking out.” Keith glared down at his phone. “What you need to do is go home and talk to him. Figure out what happened last night. And if something did happen, then figure out what you guys are going to do about it.”

Adam’s voice grew softer, gentler, and it reminded Keith of when he was a kid. “I know you like being friends with him, and if you do have feelings for him, then you need to decide if you want to act on them.” He paused for a second. “I just don’t want you getting hurt. Not again.”

Keith’s heart pounded in his chest, and he nodded even though Adam couldn’t see him. “Thanks Adam. Sorry for waking you up.”

Adam laughed, the sound crackling through the phone. “Trust me, you didn’t wake me up. Shiro’s incessant snoring did.”

It was Keith’s turn to laugh. He felt a little lighter. A little calmer. A little less crazed. “Tell him I said hi, okay?” Adam hummed in response, and Keith smiled a little. “I’ll be home in a few weeks. See ya then.”

“See you soon. Love you Keith.”

Keith smiled, hanging up. He took a deep breath and sighed, softly hitting his head against his knees. A wave of dread washed over him at the thought of talking to Lance. He had no idea if he liked him. No, he did like him. Platonically anyway. But romantically? Was that even an option for them?

He sighed again, putting his playlist back on. He jogged back the way he came, waving at cars who drove just a bit too close to the curb. He focused on the music. On the pounding of his feet. On the way the cool air made his chest constrict just a bit. Anything that wasn’t what was waiting for him back in his apartment.

-.-.-

Despite his hesitation in going home, Keith did eventually go home. His stomach was in knots and tearing itself up the entire way up to his apartment. He paused outside the door. _If I just go back out, I won’t have to go in. Lance will leave and we can pretend like nothing even happened. Everything will be fine._

He turned on his heel, ready to leave, but his phone blipped, making him freeze.

**Gremlin:** Get your ass in here. I know you’re outside the door.

Keith groaned, his shoulders slumping. He would much rather just sit outside than go in there. Another text blipped.

**Gremlin:** You left your keys. I will lock you out if you don’t get in here.

His hands went to his pockets, and he cursed himself. _You idiot, how could you forget your keys?_ He didn’t have a choice now. The last time Pidge locked him out, he wasn’t allowed back in for three days and had to stay with Hunk (which was never a bad thing, except this time he wouldn’t be able to stay with Hunk because, well...)

Keith shook his head, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice,” he muttered, turning back to the door. His heart was pounding in his ears and his chest felt tight. “Just walk in and get it over with.”

He pushed open the door, kicking his shoes off and pulling his hoodie off. He tossed it into the living room, walking into the kitchen. Lance was sitting at the island, sipping at a cup of coffee while Pidge was filling a travel mug. He briefly caught his eye, but looked away, spinning past Pidge to the fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water, chugging half of it, doing anything that wasn’t talking.

The cold water shocked his body, and he choked for a second, his throat spasming. Pidge gave him a look and he could feel Lance’s eyes on him. He hit his chest, the water feeling like a rock sliding down his throat.

“You wanna maybe not try to die?” Pidge said, reaching around him for the creamer. 

“You try chugging ice water,” Keith said, his voice tight. He coughed, feeling his throat return to normal.

“You should try _not_ doing that.”

Keith glared a little at Pidge, but saw them smiling. He knew they were joking. After years of being friends, this was just the way they joked with each other -- teasing and prodding, making sarcastic comments.

He leaned against the counter, glancing over at Lance. Lance jumped a little and turned away quickly. Keith saw the briefest flash of guilt in his eyes and it stirred uneasiness in his stomach.

Pidge reached around him again, grabbing a couple apples and dropped them into their backpack. “I’m headed to Hunk’s again. I’ll text you about dinner?” Keith nodded, looking back at them. “Cool.” They grabbed their mug, starting for the door before pausing. “Please don’t be shirtless when I get back.”

Keith’s face lit up. He grabbed the nearest thing to him -- a granola bar -- and threw it at them. Pidge ducked and laughed, scurrying out the door. The door closed with a click, and he was left alone with Lance.

He could feel the tension in the air. It was the kind that felt like you could cut it with a knife and see the cut. It was heavy. Keith took another drink of his water, listening to the way Lance’s fingers tapped against the island. He mentally sighed, hoisting himself onto the counter.

“Do you remember anything about last night?” Lance asked. Keith looked up at him, but Lance’s gaze was glued to the island.

Keith shook his head. “No, do you?” Lance didn’t say anything, but Keith noticed the way his shoulders stiffened. The uneasiness from before grew, his chest tightening.

The tension grew, becoming almost suffocating, and Keith opened his mouth to speak, but Lance spoke first. “We both got pretty drunk. You were swaying as we walked back here. You almost fell walking to the elevator.” Keith’s face flushed and he bit the inside of his cheek.

“We got back here and you pulled us to the living room,” Lance continued. “You fell onto the couch, pulling me down with you.” Lance’s face flushed and his voice was getting quieter, more hesitant. “You started kissing me, and I should’ve pushed you off, but I didn’t.”

Keith’s breathing hitched, panic starting to rise in his throat. “You pulled your shirt off and did the same to me, and I let you. Things got…” Lance trailed off, clearing his throat. “I stopped us before we did anything, pulling myself away. You whined a little, but started falling asleep, so I let you.”

Lance paused, his fingers tapping on the mug. Keith’s mind was spinning, trying to think but unable to latch onto a single thought. “I fell asleep at some point and woke up to Pidge telling us to get a room.” There was a hint of humour in his voice, but Keith couldn’t focus on it.

“I pulled you towards your room, getting you into the bed, and turned to leave, but you wouldn’t let go of my wrist, telling me you wanted me to stay, so I did.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but it sounded like he was yelling.

Keith heard what he’d said, but his body wouldn’t let him respond. He was stuck in his head. _He wasn’t supposed to know. He wasn’t supposed to find out. Not like this. Hunk didn’t even know! How am I supposed to explain this? What am I supposed to do?_

He was panicking, his thoughts spinning like a whirlwind, and he could feel his breathing getting shallower and his heart racing. He heard the stool being pushed back, heard the scrap of the mug on the island, but it wasn’t until Lance was standing in front of the sink that he focused on something other than his thoughts.

“I have an exam I need to study for, so I gotta go.” He put the mug in the sink, the ceramic clinking on the metal. It rang in Keith’s ears. He was frozen in place, watching Lance walk into the living room and returning with his shoes. Lance paused and turned towards him, looking like he had something he wanted to say, but he didn’t say anything. He walked out, leaving Keith in the kitchen.

Keith sat on the counter, his mind whirling and his heart racing. The only thing he could focus on in the maelstrom of thoughts was that Lance knew he was gay. “Fuck!!” He all but fell off the counter, his water bottle clattering to the ground. He paced the kitchen, muttering _fuck_ under his breath over and over again.

He was panicking. Could tell in that way that felt like he was watching himself from somewhere else in the room. But it’s not like he could make it stop. Lance knew he was gay! There were only a few other people who knew, and that’s because they were practically family.

He ran into the island, twisting and falling to the ground. His hip throbbed, the pain finally pulling him from his panic. He hissed as he prodded it, knowing full well there was going to be a bruise there. Keith sighed, sliding back until his back hit the cabinets. He went over the information, calming himself.

“Lance and I got drunk. I kissed him. He kissed me back. He knows I’m gay. But he kissed me. Does that make him gay? No, he’s been with plenty of girls. Is he bi then?” Keith tipped his head back, thinking. Maybe things weren’t as bad as he thought they were.

-.-.-

No, they weren’t as bad as he thought. They were much, much worse.

Monday morning came with a jolt and a groan, and Keith sat up, fumbling for his alarm while shielding his eyes from the sunlight. “Early classes should be banned on Mondays,” he grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his face. He fumbled around again for his glasses, narrowly saving them from being knocked to the floor.

A bang hit his door followed by a grumpy Pidge making some sort of noise that was nowhere near words. Keith shouted a noise back, throwing the blanket to the other side of the bed. He slipped on a pair of sweats and a tank top, regretting not having slept in socks as the cold floor chilled him.

He walked out into the hall, shuffling sleepily into the kitchen, where an equally sleepy Pidge was staring tiredly at the coffee machine, watching the slow drip of the coffee fill the pot. “We need to invest in a faster coffee machine,” Pidge mumbled, Keith walking over to stand next to them.

“We need to invest in a Starbucks addiction,” Keith mumbled back, watching the coffee. Pidge grunted, and they fell into silence.

When the pot was half filled, Keith pushed off the counter, walking to the fridge. He grabbed the egg carton, frowning at how light it felt. “We need to get eggs today,” he said, pulling out milk and cheese. Pidge grunted again and Keith closed the fridge, walking to the stove.

It was so mundane and natural, as though they’d been doing it for years (they had, but that wasn’t the point). Pidge would always brew coffee and then stand there staring at it until it stopped, Keith would make breakfast -- some variation of eggs and toast, or cereal and oatmeal (“How do you eat what’s basically mushy cereal?” Keith would ask every time), or if they were lucky, they’d reheat something Hunk sent home with them.

Today was scrambled eggs and toast, cause Keith had no energy to make much more and they didn’t have any cereal (“Add cereal to that grocery list”). He heard the coffee machine sputter to a stop as he was plating the food and met Pidge at the table. “How the hell are you always able to time everything perfectly?” Pidge said, taking the milk and pouring a good bit into their coffee.

“Magic,” Keith replied, taking a long drink of his own. He winced a little as the heat burned his tongue, but he didn’t mind much. He just needed the caffeine.

“You could just wait for it to cool down you know,” Pidge said around a mouthful of eggs.

Keith scrunched his nose, throwing a napkin at them. “And you could wait until you swallow before talking. No one said we were smart.”

Pidge tried to laugh and ended up coughing, egg getting stuck in their throat. Keith laughed, earning a glare from Pidge. “You asshole. Are you trying to kill me?”

“Don’t need to try when you’re already doing it for me.”

Pidge glared at him again, but didn’t say anything. Mostly because there was a knock at the door. Which was odd for a Monday morning. Especially before seven. They looked at each other, and another knock came, followed by another and another. “I swear if you guys don’t open this door, I’m going to give all of this food to Shiro.”

They bolted up from the table and practically fell over themselves getting to the door. Hunk was there with several containers of food, as well as a drink carrier with several coffees, steam coming out the top.

“Hunk, you’re a god,” Keith said, taking the containers. Hunk rolled his eyes, lifting the coffees just above where Pidge could reach them. They were making grabby hands and following him as he walked in. Keith watched with amusement, smiling as Pidge failed to reach them. He turned back to the door to close it and saw Lance standing there awkwardly.

Something caught in his throat and he couldn’t say anything. He moved to the side and looked away, nodding his head a little in an attempt to tell Lance to come in. Lance walked in and closed the door, and they both stood in a tense silence. Keith could feel his heart racing, but he couldn’t force himself to say anything. He couldn’t even look at him.

“You better not be eating that food Kogane! I know where you sleep!” Pidge yelled from the kitchen. Keith shook his head and forgot about the tension long enough to walk into the kitchen with the containers.

“Like you’d be able to pay for this apartment by yourself,” he said, putting them on the counter. Pidge was standing next to Hunk, both inspecting their poorly stocked fridge.

“I don’t know, body parts go for a pretty price on the black market.”

Hunk groaned, closing the fridge. “I don’t even want to know how or why you know this.”

Pidge laughed, finally snatching a cup from the carrier. They scurried to the living room, and Hunk looked past Keith to the hall. “Where’s Lance?”

Keith froze for a second, his hand hovering over one of the containers. “He’s in the hall,” he forced out, busying himself with the food. Separating what needed to go in the fridge and what could stay on the counter. Doing anything he could to not look at Hunk.

Hunk stood there for a second before Keith heard the shuffling of feet exiting the kitchen, and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. _Get it together Keith. Everything’s fine. Quit being a freak._

He finished sorting the containers and put them away before walking into the living room, grabbing the rest of the coffees on the way. Pidge was huddled on the couch with a textbook open on their lap, and Hunk and Lance were huddled around the table watching something on Lance’s phone. Keith’s stomach did a flip and he set the coffees down, taking one as he did.

“I gotta get changed,” he said, walking back out of the room. His heart was racing and he was white knuckling the coffee cup. He heard shuffling behind him and recognized it as Pidge’s footsteps. He didn’t turn around, walking into his room and putting the coffee on the dresser.

“You don’t have class for another hour.” Keith ignored the comment, rummaging through his closet for something to wear. Not that he had much to choose from -- he had maybe four shirts he wore regularly and a couple hoodies -- but he was trying to avoid Pidge.

“You don’t have class for another hour,” they tried again, walking up to him. He kept his gaze on his clothes, flicking through the same two shirts. “ _You don’t have class for another hour._ ” Pidge pushed his hands away from his clothes and stood in front of him, their arms crossed. “Why are you being weird?”

Keith turned and flopped face first onto his bed, sighing. “I’m not. I’m just tired and have some stuff I need to get done before class.” _Yeah, like getting Lance out of my head._ Pidge nudged his foot and he turned to look at them.

“Or you could come hangout with us for a bit and then go to class. Like you normally do,” they said. Keith rolled his face back into the bed. They nudged him again. “Quit being an ass and come hangout with your friends.”He didn’t say anything, just kept his face pressed against the bed. Pidge sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hunk is worried he did something cause he said you were acting weird in the kitchen. Did he do something?”

Keith’s stomach twisted and churned with guilt. He knew how Hunk got whenever he thought someone was upset with him. He sighed again, rolling onto his back and sitting up. “He didn’t do anything. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Pidge nodded, walking towards the door. They hesitated for a second and turned towards him. “Whatever’s wrong, you can tell me. I’m not going to judge you, you know that.” They walked out and Keith flopped back.

He could hear Pidge and Hunk laughing about something from the living room, and he heard Lance talking animatedly about something that made them laugh more. Keith thought, for the briefest of moments, that it was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

He bolted upright, balling his fists. “I don’t think his voice is beautiful. It’s just a voice.” But it didn’t stop him from straining to hear more of it. It was lilting and song like. It was pitched higher than his own, but he could hear the bass undertones in it, balancing out the timbres. It was soothing.

_No, stop that._

It didn’t stop his mind from wandering. Wandering to what his voice sounded like when he sang (and Keith had to admit, Lance could really sing). To what his voice sounded like when he was giving speeches (there’d been a rally earlier that semester that Lance had spoken at and they had gone to support him) and how he could captivate a crowd. It wandered to other things that he immediately pushed away with a blush.

_You stop that right now. He’s your friend._

He jumped when his phone buzzed.

**Gremlin** : Get your ass out here.

Keith groaned, lingering on the bed for a second longer before he stood. His stomach churned again, and he thought for a second he might actually throw up. “It’s just for an hour and then you won’t have to worry about this for the rest of the day.”

He grabbed his coffee on the way out of his room and plastered a fake smile on as he ruffled Pidge’s hair. Pidge ducked and swatted at him and he twisted just enough to avoid them. He sat on the floor against the far side of the couch, next to Pidge’s legs.

He looked up to see Lance looking at him, but Lance looked away as soon as he caught his eye, turning to Hunk and talking about some show. Keith was lost in his voice for a minute before he realized that he was staring. He looked away and busied himself with his phone, reading through emails and class announcements, trying to distract himself.

Lance started laughing at something and Keith froze. He’d thought his voice was beautiful ( _No I don’t, stop thinking that_ ), but his laugh was like birdsong. It was like wind chimes in the breeze. It was like the perfect piano melody.

He felt his face flushing and he took a drink of his coffee. _No one gets to know about this_ , he told himself. No one needed to know that he was completely enamoured with his voice and his laugh. That he thought his eyes were the perfect shade of blue and that he wished he could drown in them. That his skin reminded him of caramel caught in the sun.

That maybe he had the smallest crush on his friend.

-.-.-

Needless to say, things only got worse from there.

The first two days weren’t too terrible. Keith would catch Lance staring and Lance would look away with what looked like guilt in his eyes. Or Lance would do something and Keith would be caught with his gaze lingering just a bit too long before his face would flush and he’d busy himself with his phone (or homework or laptop or whatever).

But as the week went on, things got worse. Keith would make excuses to be out of the apartment whenever Pidge said that Hunk and Lance were coming over, or he’d skip lunch and say that he had to practice, or just anything to not be in the same vicinity as Lance. He wasn’t the only one making excuses. Lance was also avoiding him whenever he could. And Pidge and Hunk were fed up with it.

It was Saturday and they were all at Hunk’s place. Pidge had dragged him along despite his protests, threatening to shave his head in the middle of the night if he didn’t go along. “You know I’ll do it. I did it to Matt and I’ll do it to you.”

As soon as he walked in the door, Lance looked up at him and they both froze. He heard Pidge groan and they pulled him inside so they could close the door, and Hunk stood, grabbing Lance’s arm. They were pulled down the hall towards the bathroom and practically thrown in. Pidge grabbed the doorknob before Keith could grab it, and they yanked the door closed.

“You’re not leaving until you’re friends again!” Hunk shouted at them, clearly frustrated. 

“Or one of you is dead! Whichever comes first!” Pidge added. There was shuffling from the other side followed by a banging against the door, and Keith could only assume a chair had been put in place, essentially locking them in. He tried to pull the door open but gave up when it wouldn’t budge.

He turned around and leaned against the door, sliding to the floor. Lance was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, refusing to look at him. There was tension in the air, and it felt a little suffocating. It felt like confrontation, and Keith hated confrontation.

Minutes ticked by, neither saying anything, the silence growing heavier, until Keith finally gave in. “What are we?” he asked, looking up at Lance. He got silence as a response. “Did that kiss mean anything?” No response.

Something in Keith’s heart started to crack and he tipped his head back, closing his eyes. “Lance, please say something. Say you hate me. Say you regret it. Just say something,” he pleaded, feeling his throat start to tighten. He refused to give in to his emotions, but he was starting to panic the longer Lance stayed quiet.

Lance sighed, sliding to the floor. “I don’t know.” Keith opened his eyes and he was looking at him, but not really looking at him. Like he was trying to see through him.

“Okay,” Keith said. He pulled his knees to his chest and leaned his forehead on them, sighing. Keith didn’t even know if he wanted them to be anything. Didn’t even know if Lance liked guys. Hell, he hadn’t even told Lance _he_ liked guys. All he knew was that he felt something for Lance, but he didn't know what exactly it was.

“What if we explore being something?” Lance said, his voice quiet. Keith looked up, but he wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Not boyfriends, just curious.”

Keith didn’t say anything. Didn’t know what to say. _Wouldn’t that technically be considered friends with benefits?_ He didn’t know what he thought of that. “Okay,” he said hesitantly. Something in him was telling him to agree, the part of him that kept thinking those things about him at the party. “What are the conditions?”

“No strings attached, no feelings. Just testing the waters,” Lance said, finally looking at him. Keith nodded.

“No strings, no feelings, alright.” Lance nodded at him and stood, offering a hand. Keith took it and stood. They ended up closer than intended, and Keith could smell Lance’s vanilla body wash on his skin. It made his head spin a bit and his face flushed when he saw Lance smiling down at him.

“I guess that means I can do this.” Lance leaned down and kissed him quickly, making electricity shoot through Keith’s body. Lance laughed and pulled away, reaching around him to bang on the door. “You can let us out now!”

He heard the chair being moved and he stepped away from Lance quickly to avoid being hit by the door as it swung open. “Are you guys friends again?” Hunk asked.

They looked at each other and nodded. “Yeah, we are.”

“Thank freaking god. Can we go eat now?”

-.-.-

There was a knock on the door, and the tell-tale squeak of the hinges as said door was opened. Keith was in the living room with various books spread out around him, his back against the front of the couch. His laptop was propped up on his knees, and a blank word document stared back at him.

“I bring coffee, coffee, and more coffee.” The door clicked shut and shoes were kicked off, thudding onto the floor. “As well as chinese, cause what heathen studies without food.” Keith laughed, looking up from his laptop to watch Lance walk in, coffee and food in hand.

“You could’ve asked for help carrying everything,” Keith said, closing a couple of his books and putting them on the coffee table. Lance shrugged, setting everything down on said table.

“Like I could give you the satisfaction of helping me when I’m clearly the superior balancer.” Keith rolled his eyes and pulled Lance down next to him. Lance yelped a little and almost kicked the table. Keith smirked.

“You sure about that?”

“I wasn’t the one who almost dumped their lunch on Pidge because he couldn’t walk.”

Keith’s smirk fell and he shoved Lance a little. “Well I wouldn’t have done that had _someone_ not decided to stop right in front of me.”

“You should’ve been watching in front of you instead of staring,” Lance shot back with a wink. Keith’s face flushed and he sputtered, and Lance laughed at him.

“Shut it McClain,” Keith grumbled, taking one of the coffees and hiding his smile in the lid. Lance took one as well, humming at what Keith could only assume was the most sugary coffee the shop had to offer.

Keith looked pathetically at his textbooks, really not wanting to study. He’d rather do anything else than study. He looked back at Lance, who was rummaging through the food bag. The light caught his features just right, the shadows playing across his face and making his jawline and nose look sharper than they actually were.

It lit up one of his eyes, making it look like ice, while the other was covered in shadows and looked as stormy as the sea. They were one of the things he absolutely loved about Lance. _Do I love him?_

His eyes traveled to his lips -- rosy pink and glistening from the lip balm that Lance put on religiously. He knew the taste of them, how it was always something sugary and sweet. How they were impossibly soft and slotted so perfectly with his own.

He heard a cough and he jolted, looking up and seeing Lance looking at him with a quirked eyebrow. “My eyes are up here Kogane,” he said with a smirk. Keith rolled his eyes and looked at the food, feeling his face flush again. Okay, yeah, he may have a slight obsession with Lance’s lips. Sue him.

Keith took what he assumed was fried rice and sesame chicken and popped the lid, the steam escaping and fogging his glasses. He didn’t really need them for anything other than reading and staring at his laptop, so it wasn’t that big a deal when he took them off. It did, however, catch a whistle from Lance.

“The handsome boy returns, and, oh, how I’ve missed him.” Keith’s face flushed again, and he made a point of not giving Lance the satisfaction of looking at him. Instead, he wiped them on the edge of his sweater and folded them carefully, putting them on his forgotten laptop.

Lance whined a little, leaning against his shoulder. “Keith, come on, look at me.” Keith reached over him and grabbed a pair of chopsticks. “Keeeeeith.” Keith kept his eyes on his food, taking a piece of the chicken and humming happily while he ate it. “ _Keeeeeeeeeeith._ ” Keith took a drink of his coffee, barely glancing down at Lance, who was giving him his puppy dog eyes.

“Yes Lance?” he said, humour lacing his voice. He resisted the urge to laugh when Lance perked up exactly like a puppy at finally getting attention.

“You’re so handsome without your glasses,” he said, smiling softly at him. Keith bit his lip, taking a bite of his rice to distract himself. Lance inched closer. “I mean, how can someone be so handsome? It should be illegal.”

Keith rolled his eyes, pointing a chopstick in Lance’s face. “We are eating. And then we’re studying.” Lance groaned and leaned away, pouting. Keith laughed a little. “Maybe if you study, I might give you a kiss.” Lance perked up again and nodded. Keith shook his head. _This boy, I swear._

Dinner went by quickly, both boys having not really eaten at all that day (“If Hunk ever finds out about our eating habits, we’re done for”). They cleaned up and got their various textbooks and notebooks out, making the coffee table a cluttered mess. Keith dumped a bag of pens and highlighters in the middle of the table, and Lance groaned.

“Do we have to study? We’ve been studying all week,” he whined, laying his forehead on his textbook.

“If we want to pass, yeah, we gotta study. Be thankful neither of us are in Pidge and Hunk’s classes. Last I heard, Pidge was living off of coffee and vending machine snacks and barely sleeping.”

“Hunk isn’t much better. Last night I went into the kitchen to find him slumped over a textbook scribbling chicken scratch with one hand and typing notes on his laptop with the other,” Lance said. Keith cringed. Thank god for being a music major.

Keith resumed his music history notes, reading through his textbook and jotting down things that were important. He made sure to highlight bold terms and italicised phrases, knowing those were almost certainly going to be on the final. He spent a good hour going like this before he switched over to the music, knowing this was going to be the worst part of studying.

He glanced up at Lance to see him chewing on the end of a pen with his brows furrowed while he looked down at his textbook. His knee was bouncing and he kept shifting as though trying to get comfortable. Keith glanced down at his notebook to find a bunch of scribbles but not a lot of notes. He looked up again and Lance sighed.

“I can’t focus,” he said, falling onto his back. He tossed the pen in the air and Keith watched it spin once, twice, three times, before it hit the floor next to Lance’s head.

“I guess we can take a break. It has been an hour,” Keith said, rubbing at his eyes. In all honesty, he needed one. His joints were starting to hurt from sitting like he had and his eyes burned a little from staring at his textbook.

He stood and stretched, feeling his lower back pop, and walked over to Lance, offering him a hand. Lance took it and Keith pulled him up, taking a step back to balance them. He smiled up at him, and Lance smiled back. “Well hey there,” Lance whispered.

Keith shook his head, stepping away but keeping hold of his hand. “I’m thinking movie, that sound good?” Lance nodded, following Keith as he pulled him towards his room. They didn’t have a TV in the living room and he really didn’t want to play something on his laptop, so his room was really the only option. That, and he just really wanted to lay in bed.

Lance grabbed the remote and they both fell into the bed, resituating themselves to be more comfortable. Keith ended up curled against Lance’s side, and Lance had an arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close. Their backs were against the wall with pillows propped behind them. There was enough room for them to fit on the bed, but Keith liked being close to him. It was comforting.

They flipped through Netflix trying to decide what to watch, but nothing really caught their attention. They turned on Kung Fu Panda because they really didn’t know what else to watch, and Keith threw a book at the light switch, cheering slightly when he hit it and the lights turned off.

“You could’ve gotten out of bed, lazy bones,” Lance said.

“Or I could throw things and _not_ get out of bed,” Keith shot back, smiling.

“Dork,” Lance said back affectionately. Keith hummed, burrowing deeper into his side. He knew that they were done studying for the night, even if that had been the whole reason behind Lance coming over.

The movie ended and Keith took control, putting on one of his favourite childhood shows. Lance complained about it but Keith wasn’t budging in his decision. “My room, my rules,” he said teasingly, sticking his tongue out.

Lance narrowed his eyes a little at him, and Keith made a sound when Lance ducked down and tried to kiss him. He hid his face in Lance’s side, laughing, and Lance tried to pull him away. Keith had a death grip on his shirt and wasn’t letting go. He felt the hand on his waist start to move and Keith tried to squirm away. “Lance, no!!”

He started laughing and kicking when Lance started tickling him. Keith squirmed down the bed and Lance followed him. All of his attempts to push his hands away failed, and his legs were trapped under Lance. “Okay! Okay! I give!” Keith said, trying to breathe. He pushed Lance’s hand one more time before he stopped.

They’d moved away from the wall and Lance had ended up on top of him. His hair was wild and his eyes were shining, and he had a toothy grin on his face. This was the Lance that Keith really liked to see, and he only really got to see it when they were alone. Lance laced their fingers together and pushed Keith’s hands above his head, and Keith’s face flushed.

“Hey there,” Keith said, out of breath.

“Hey there yourself,” Lance said back, leaning down closer to him. There was a thin layer of sweat on his skin and his cheeks were tinged pink. His hair stuck to his forehead and Keith desperately wanted to sweep the hair from his face. His TV cast shadows on his face that made his features seem sharper, and something in Keith’s throat caught.

“Come here often?” Lance snorted a little and Keith cracked a smile, moving his hands a little and making Lance fall a little towards him. He made a sound and looked down at him. Keith licked his lips and he saw Lance’s eyes flick down to look at them before looking back up at him.

Keith rolled his eyes and tipped his head up, trying to catch Lance’s lips. He was just out of reach, but it got the message across. Lance leaned down to close the gap and kissed him. Keith sighed slightly and sank into the bed a little, Lance chasing after him.

He let go of his hands and instead caged his head with his arms. Keith moved his hands to settle on Lance’s hips, running his fingers lazily just under the hem of his shirt. He felt Lance shiver and he smirked into the kiss, running them up his sides and across his back. Lance made a noise and sat lower, sitting flush in Keith’s lap.

It was Keith’s turn to make a noise, and Lance used that to his advantage. He deepened the kiss, pushing his way into Keith’s mouth, his hands tangling in his hair. He tugged a little and Keith gasped, tipping his head up a little. Lance smirked again and pulled away, kissing the corner of his mouth and down his jaw to his neck.

Keith’s breathing hitched and he moaned a little. Lance chuckled against his neck and pulled away. He looked down at him, sitting back a little. Keith leaned up, using his elbows to prop himself up. There was an unspoken question in the air, and he bit his lip, shaking his head a little. Lance nodded, rolling to the side and pulling him up.

They settled back against the wall, Lance leaning against Keith’s side. They watched the show without really watching it. He could tell Lance was starting to fall asleep, and he pulled the blanket over them. Instinctively, Keith leaned down and kissed the top of Lance’s head. “I love you,” he whispered, not thinking, and froze when he felt Lance shift a little.

He peeked down, scared that Lance had heard him, and was relieved that he was still asleep. He could feel his heart racing at the fact that he’d said it, and a large part of him really believed it. Believed that he did love him. He took a breath and closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep.

-.-.-

The only reason -- the _only_ reason -- Keith had agreed to come to this club was because Matt was DJing that night (and totally not because Lance had asked him to with those damn puppy dog eyes he always used). He wasn’t a big fan of crowded places, and he wasn’t a big fan of crowded places with overly loud music. So it was safe to say that this wasn’t the kind of place he’d ever be at.

He walked in, already regretting wearing a jacket. It was uncomfortably hot and sticky, and there was a fine layer of sweat on his skin within minutes of being there. He shrugged out of his jacket, tying it around his waist, and thanked past Keith for choosing to pair a tank top with his jeans (not that he’d had much of a choice in the matter since Lance had all but picked out his outfit for him).

It wasn’t terribly crowded, but crowded enough that he had to nudge people to get through them. Keith made his way to Matt, both to stay out of the crowd and to use the high ground to search for Lance. One would think that it’d be pretty easy to find bright blue in the crowd, but the ever shifting coloured lights made everything blur together, so picking out a singular colour was almost impossible. So Keith opted for the height instead.

The music got louder the closer he got to Matt. Said boy seemed like he was having a blast. He had on black jeans with matching black converse, a white tank top that almost glowed in the coloured lights, and what Keith assumed was a green flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair, which he refused to cut despite his mother’s nagging, was tied up in a low ponytail that swung with his dancing, and he had a pair of neon green headphones resting around his neck. Keith wouldn’t admit it to his face, but Matt was kind of hot.

Keith leaned against the wall, nodding along to the bass, and watched Matt dance, waiting for him to notice. It didn’t take long. Matt did a spin and looked up, almost falling when he saw Keith. “Son of a-- warn a guy next time!”

He laughed and pushed off the wall, swinging an arm around Matt’s shoulders, much to both of their surprise. _I guess being around Lance has made me more affectionate,_ he thought. He laughed, snatching the headphones from around his neck and putting one of the cuffs to his ear. “This is some pretty cool music,” Keith said, bobbing his head to the beat.

“Thanks, mixed it myself,” Matt said, beaming. His smile was contagious, because Keith found himself smiling back as he handed the headphones back.

“Guess you found some use for that music degree,” he joked. Matt flipped him off and Keith laughed.

“So, Keith ‘Antisocial Introvert’ Kogane, why are you here of all places?”

“Can’t I come see my friend and listen to his amazing music without having any other reason?” Matt quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “I guess not. I’m meeting someone here--“

“Keith on a date?! By the stars, it’s a miracle!” Keith flipped him off and Matt laughed, leaning against his shoulder dramatically. “So, what’s she like? Is she pretty? Smart? Spill the tea!”

Keith bit his lip, taking a shaky breath. Even though he was out to Pidge, he hadn’t come out to Matt yet. _Guess it’s now or never._ “Actually, _he’s_ really nice looking and pretty smart.”

Matt looked at him for a second and smiled. “Join the club.” Keith’s eyes widened and Matt winked. “So, does pretty boy have a name?”

“Lance. His name is Lance.”

“Lance as in ‘brought home drunk’ Lance?”

“Damnit Adam, of course he’d tell you.”

“Actually it was Shiro. And it may or may not have been because he was drunk,” Matt said, patting his shoulder.

Keith made a mental note to hit Shiro when he went home. _Damn Shiro and his inability to keep secrets when intoxicated._ He felt his phone buzz and looked down, seeing a text from Lance.

**Pretty Boy** : Hey, you here yet??  
 **Keith** : Yeah, up at the DJ’s station.

“Pretty boy, huh? How far gone are you for him?” Matt said, peeking over his shoulder.

Keith’s face flushed and he hid his phone. “I’m not gone for him,” he mumbled, his cheeks burning. He wasn’t, okay? He just thought he was cute. And funny. And a really good kisser. Nothing else.

“Yeah, totally not gone for him,” Matt teased. Keith shook his head and pulled away, eyes scanning the crowd below. Even from up here it was almost impossible to pick out individual colours. Too many bodies and too many moving lights. He sighed, leaning against the wall.

Matt walked back to the equipment, messing with some of the knobs and dials, and the music changed. The bass was still heavy, but it sounded more danceable. A lot less sound effects and more guitar riffs and drum patterns. Keith closed his eyes, letting the music wash over him.

Keith didn’t hear the footsteps coming up the stairs, didn’t hear them as they zigzagged towards him. He was only aware of another body when said person had tripped and fallen into him. His eyes snapped open and he instinctively caught the person, not fully aware of who it was. All he knew was that they smelled like vanilla and were very glittery.

“Keith! I finally found you!” the person laughed, their words slurring just the tiniest bit at the end. Keith looked down at the person, seeing the blue eyes and blue top. He smiled, righting them.

“So this must be the infamous Lance,” Matt said. Keith looked over to see him with his arms crossed and an amused smile playing on his features. He walked over, putting a hand out. “I’m Matt, a friend of Keith’s.”

Lance stood and took the hand, shaking it a little too vigorously. “I don’t know about infamous, but that’s me!” Keith shook his head a little. Matt quirked an eyebrow and laughed a little. “Keith never told me he had friends other than Pidge and Hunk.”

“Actually, I’m Pidge’s older brother,” Matt said. Lance’s eyes widened a little and Matt laughed again. “I take it Pidge didn’t tell you they had an older brother either. No, I get it. When you’re someone who majors in some really advanced math field, you don’t typically say anything about your brother who majored in music.”

“Music? I love music! Keith majors in music! Don’t you Keith?” Lance said, looking at him with eyes that sparkled under the lights. It made his heart skip a beat and he was glad that he was standing where there wasn’t much light. The less they knew he was blushing, the better.

“Matt knows. He’s heard me groan and complain about classes more times than I can count.”

Lance nodded happily, turning back to Matt. “I love the music here.”

Matt’s eyes lit up a little with pride. “That’s fantastic to hear! I mixed it myself.”

“Really??” Matt nodded proudly. “That’s so awesome!!”

Keith smiled, listening to them talk about Matt’s music and everything that went into it. He knew Lance wouldn’t understand half of what he was being told, much less remember most of it. He could already tell that Lance was a little more than tipsy. Could tell in the way he swayed a little on his feet.

He let himself give Lance a once over now that they had calmed down a bit. He was wearing a blue crop top that rested just above his naval. The neck was cut wide and just barely hung on his shoulders. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans with rips in the knees and black boots that ended just under the rips. If Keith had to describe the outfit, it’d be that it hugged his body just right. And if he was being honest, it was a little distracting to look at.

So he looked up to his face. His hair was swept to the side, mussed in the way that looked like he’d run his hands through it a thousand times, and it stuck to his forehead a little from the sweat on his skin. It looked like he had a bit of eyeliner on, his eyes standing out just a little more than usual. There was glitter on his cheeks, under his eyes, as well as some on his collar bones. If the outfit was distracting to look at, then his face was even more so.

Lance nudged him a little, and Keith blinked, focusing back on the boys in front of him. “You okay there?” Matt smirked at him, giving him a knowing look, and Keith gave him a look before looking back at Lance.

“Yeah, just lost in thought. Come on, let’s head down.” He took Lance’s hand and started for the stairs. Lance followed, walking just a little too close to Keith. He could feel the heat coming from his body and it made his head spin a little. He paused on a step and turned to Matt. “It was good seeing you again!”

Matt smiled and waved, walking back to his equipment, his hips swaying a little. Keith shook his head, continuing down the stairs. He tugged Lance along the wall, avoiding most of the people as they looked for somewhere to sit. Lance was swaying a little behind him, snagging on people as he said hi and complemented others. Keith smiled. _The life of an extrovert I guess._

Keith found a booth in the corner, half hidden in shadows. He pulled Lance down with him, scooting over enough to make room for him so they could sit together comfortably. Lance followed, all but falling into the seat.

“Keith, I don’t want to sit, I want to dance. I want to drink,” Lance whined, tugging loosely on the bottom of his shirt.

“I think you need to sit for a little bit. I’m cutting you off for now.”

Lance made a noise of protest and tried to stand. “I’m perfectly fine, come on.”

Keith grabbed his hand and pulled him down a little too hard. Lance fell backwards and landed awkwardly in Keith’s lap, limbs splayed out to try to catch himself and his head landing in the crook of Keith’s arm. Keith’s face flushed and Lance looked up at him in surprise.

“I- Uh-” Keith stammered, unable to form words. Lance started laughing, leaning more of his body weight against Keith, and Keith’s face heated up more. They spent the next minute resituating themselves, untangling their limbs and sitting back in the booth.

Lance was pressed just a little too close to Keith and it made his heart beat pick up. He cleared his throat and looked at the table. “Sorry for pulling you down so hard. I didn’t mean to.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” Lance said, throwing an arm around his shoulders. Keith stiffened for a second before relaxing, leaning ever so slightly into Lance’s side. Lance sighed and Keith smiled.

“I meant to say something before, but you look really good tonight,” he said, looking up at Lance. Lance quirked an eyebrow and smiled.

They were impossibly close, and Keith knew that if he tipped his head up just enough, his lips would graze Lance’s. Knew that if he did, Lance wouldn’t hesitate in kissing him back. The thought of it made Keith’s heart start to race again. He bit his lip and looked out over the crowd instead. _Maybe Matt is right. Maybe I am gone for him._

They sat like that for a couple minutes, watching the crowd and listening to the music. Really, it was just so Lance could have a minute to sober up a bit and for Keith to make sure he’d be okay to drink again. He knew Lance could go a little overboard when he was having fun, and had taken him home plenty of times when he’d overdone it. He was just being cautious.

He could feel Lance starting to get antsy from sitting for so long (it was really only a few minutes, but to someone like Lance, who was always constantly moving, a few minutes must have felt like an eternity). Keith nudged him a little and Lance looked at him. “I’m gonna get us something to drink.”

Lance snorted. “Oh, so _now_ I’m allowed to drink.”

“You were already almost drunk when I got here, of course I wasn’t going to let you drink again until you sobered up some,” Keith said, shaking his head and smiling. Lance rolled his eyes but smiled back.

Keith climbed over him, hyper aware of how close they were and the fact that he had to all but straddle Lance’s lap to do so. He so desperately wanted to stay like that and lean over him and kiss him. Hesitated just the slightest with the want to. But he kept moving, head spinning.

He felt Lance’s eyes on him as he stood and fixed his shirt. He looked up at him and saw something in his eyes that he couldn’t name. It made something stir in his chest and try to claw out his throat. It made his face flush and body heat up. It made him want to sit back down and pull Lance into a kiss.

“I’ll be back,” he squeaked out, turning on his heel and weaving through the crowd. His head was foggy and he felt like he was starting to overheat. “Get it together Keith,” he muttered to himself, spinning around a couple who stumbled in his path.

It was less crowded at the bar and Keith leaned against the counter, waiting for the bartender to make his way down. There were a few guys to his left that kept looking at him, but he ignored them. He wasn’t interested in strangers. _I’m not interested in anyone, except him._

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, his hands on his hips. He was taller than Keith, and a little intimidating.

“Can I get a Sex on the Beach and a Moscow Mule?” The bartender quirked an eyebrow, no doubt because of the first one. But Keith knew that Lance really only drank fruity drinks and bad beer.

The bartender didn’t say anything, shrugging his shoulders slightly and turning to grab what he needed to make the drinks. Keith let his shoulders drop a little, a hand running through his hair. It stuck to his hand and his fingers caught on the knots in it. He pulled it away from his neck, sighing a little at the cool air that hit it.

He saw two cups being pushed towards him and he looked up. “Here ya go.” Keith nodded a thanks, handing him a ten before grabbing the cups and turning back to the crowd. He could hear the guys from before talking, could hear one of them make a comment about him, but he didn’t pay them any mind.

Keith stayed towards the edge of the crowd, ducking under arms and spinning carefully around people. He was only a few feet away when he heard the laughter. Laughter that wasn’t Lance’s. He wove between a small group of girls and came out the other side to see a guy sitting with Lance.

They hadn’t seen him, and Keith was rooted to the spot. They were sitting close, closer than he wished they were. Lance was leaned forward, saying something in his ear, and the guy laughed again. Keith watched as Lance pulled away, looking at the guy with the same look he had when he would look at Keith. Right before they kissed.

The guy leaned forward, catching Lance in a kiss, and Lance shifted a little. It was then that he saw Keith standing there. Keith silently pleaded for him to end the kiss, for it to not be what it looked like. But Lance just looked back at him, a look of challenge in his eyes.

Something in Keith’s chest snapped and something caught in his throat. He tore his eyes away and turned on his heel, ignoring the way the drinks sloshed in their cups. He passed by a few tables before dropping the cups at them, ignoring the faces of the people there when they looked at him in surprise.

Keith wove his way through the crowd, his chest tightening and his eyes stinging. He picked up his pace until he was practically running out of the club. The cold air hit him like a brick and he gasped, doubled over. His throat felt tight and all he could see when he closed his eyes was Lance kissing the other guy. Was the way Lance looked at him.

He stood back up, tears threatening to fall, and pulled his jacket from his waist. He could feel anger starting to bubble in his stomach, but the betrayal he felt crushed it. He threw his jacket on and pulled out his keys, biting back tears and starting his bike. It roared to life and he rode home a little too dangerously.

He wove through traffic and sped through yellow lights. He narrowly avoided pedestrians and ignored the angry shouts that followed him. Everything was starting to get blurry and he sped home. His phone never once went off on the way.

Keith parked his bike in its usual spot, and the tears started to fall. He stalked inside, ignoring the greetings of the desk staff. He got in the elevator, and his breathing started to hitch. When it got to his floor, he practically ran down the hall, pushing through his door and falling to his knees.

He threw his keys to the side and heard them hit the wall, hard. He bit his lip, trying to keep a sob inside. The apartment was silent and dark, and Keith was alone. He was alone. “FUCK!!” he yelled, his voice breaking and more tears falling. “FUCK!!”

He buried his hands in his hair and pulled, leaning forward until his elbows hit the floor. A sob ripped through him and he couldn’t breathe right. His chest heaved and his stomach churned as more tears fell. As he sobbed and sobbed.

“How stupid could I have been?! Why would I ever think he felt the same?!” he yelled at himself, his hands falling to the floor. “You stupid idiot!!”

He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore. Until his nose was so stuffed that he couldn’t breathe. Until his head pounded. Until his eyes burned and he could barely keep them open. Keith picked himself up, taking his shoes off and shrugging out of his jacket. He made his way to his room, plugged his phone in, and fell onto his bed. He couldn’t be bothered to change out of his clothes.

He curled in on himself, his chest feeling like someone had stomped on it, over and over and over. He could feel the sting of tears, but he could barely keep himself awake. So he didn’t. He let himself fall asleep.

-.-.-

Keith woke up the next day with a pounding headache and an achy body. His nose was stuffed and it was hard to breathe, and his chest felt like his dog was sitting on it. Every now and then a sharp pain would hit where his heart was, and he’d curl tighter around his blanket.

After a while, he fumbled for his phone and turned the screen on. No notifications, no texts. Another pain shot through his chest. He swiped it open and went to his texts, ignoring the top conversation. He tapped into his family one.

**Keith** : Hey, would it be okay if I came home today instead of Monday?

He only had to wait a minute before he got a response.

**Brother #2 (Adam)** : Of course it is. Pizza sound good for dinner?

Keith smiled a little.

**Keith** : It always sounds good. I’ll see you guys tonight.  
 **Brother #1 (Shiro)** : [yellow thumbs up emoji]

Keith turned his phone off, putting it back on the side table. He didn’t move from his bed, and pulled the blanket over his head. He wasn’t tired, but he was exhausted. It’d been years since he’d felt like this. Years since he’d just wanted to sleep and not wake up. It was good that he was going home.

He laid in bed for a while, listening to Pidge moving around their apartment, packing their things, and it wasn’t until they were banging on his door that he finally got up. He walked to his door and opened it, wincing a little at the bright light from the hall.

“Jeez, you look like shit,” Pidge said. Keith rolled his eyes, but he forced a smile. Pidge didn’t need to worry about him. “Matt’s here, so I’m leaving for break,” they said, readjusting their backpack.

“Be safe. And you better come back. I can’t pay for this place by myself,” Keith said, leaning against the doorframe.

Pidge cracked a smile. “If anyone would leave, it’s you. You and your damn music degree.” Keith laughed and reached forward, wrapping Pidge in a hug. Pidge made a surprised sound and hesitated for a second, but they hugged him back.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks?” Pidge nodded and Keith let go. He could feel tears in the corner of his eyes. He faked a yawn before Pidge could notice. “Alright. Tell Matt I say hi.”

Pidge nodded again and waved as they walked down the hall. Keith waited until they’d closed the front door before walking back to his bed. He bit his lip as more tears threatened to fall. “Fuck…”

Keith laid in bed for another couple hours, alternating between sleeping and staring at the ceiling, before he finally got up and started packing. Home wasn’t too far away -- only two hours -- so he didn’t have to leave as early as Pidge did. And he didn’t have a ton of things to bring with him, so it didn’t take long for him to pack.

He took a shower and got dressed in fresh clothes and grabbed his phone. He was tempted to turn it on, but he couldn’t make himself actually do it. So he threw it in his backpack instead, towards the bottom so he couldn’t grab it while driving. Keith double checked the fridge to make sure there wasn’t anything that would go bad while they were gone and he turned everything off.

It was a little eerie seeing the apartment like that, dark and silent. It reminded him of how he felt. His heart started to hurt, and he walked out of the apartment. All he wanted to do was get home. Get away from school. Away from everything. Away from Lance. That thought made tears sting his eyes again, so he pushed it away and focused on the thought of home.

It was starting to be cold enough to wear a coat, and Keith made a mental note to grab his own before he came back. Snow was just starting to fall, floating and swirling in the wind and catching the late afternoon light. Keith smiled a little, taking a second to watch as it fell. He made a quick stop at his bike to cover it from the weather before walking to his car.

There was frost on the windshield, and of course Keith had yet to replace the broken scraper he had in his car. He decided to just let the heat of the car melt the frost while also heating the car. His hands were freezing and he really didn’t want to scrape at the frost. As soon as it was gone, he was gone.

-.-.-

He got home just as the sun started to set. A fine layer of snow had stuck to the ground, and it was still falling. There were paw prints all over the grass in the front yard, and Keith smiled. He really missed Kosmo. He parked his car and grabbed his things, shivering a little from the cold. He could already hear barking coming from the house.

“Kosmo, relax!” he heard Shiro shout when he pulled open the front door. Kosmo pushed against his legs and sprinted towards Keith, nearly knocking him down as he skid to a stop in front of him. Keith laughed, reaching down and scratching behind his ears.

“There’s my good boy!” Kosmo panted happily, his tail thumping against the ground. Keith dropped to his knees and wrapped Kosmo in a hug, scratching up and down his back while trying to avoid getting his face licked. “How’s my favourite family member been?”

“Of course your favourite family member is the dog,” Shiro laughed, walking over to them. Keith stood and Kosmo circled around his legs, nudging at his hands before sitting next to him. Keith scratched behind Kosmo’s ear, looking up at Shiro. “It's good to have you home,” he said, wrapping Keith in a hug.

“It’s good to be home,” Keith said, hugging Shiro back with his free hand. He looked up and saw Adam standing in the doorway patiently. Shiro pulled away and took Keith’s bags, and they walked to the house.

Adam pulled Keith into a hug as soon as he stepped out of his shoes. Keith hugged him back a little tighter than he’d meant to. Shiro side stepped around them, and Keith caught him smiling at him as he walked up the stairs. Kosmo bounded after, practically galloping up the stairs.

“Everything okay?” Adam whispered. Keith stayed quiet, feeling tears start to sting his eyes again. Adam pulled back a little and looked at him. “What happened?”

Keith shook his head and wiped his eyes. “Nothing, just glad to be home.”

Adam eyed him before letting go. “You’re always welcome home.” He reached around to close the door. “And Shiro and I are always here if something happens.”

Keith smiled gratefully and Adam nodded, stepping away as Shiro came back downstairs, Kosmo nearly knocking him over. “You need to teach your dog some manners Keith,” he said, catching the railing. Kosmo panted happily as he trotted over to sit next to Keith.

“Oh, so he’s my dog when he’s like this?” Keith responded, laughing. He crouched down and scratched behind Kosmo’s ears. “He’s already so well mannered, aren’t you Kosmo? Yes you are!” Kosmo’s tail beat against the floor and he heard Adam laugh.

“Come on, enough standing around the hall. There’s pizza sitting in the kitchen and I’ll be damned if we eat it cold,” Adam said, pulling Shiro away from the stairs and into the kitchen. Keith followed suit, realizing that he hadn’t eaten yet and the smell of the pizza was intoxicating.

They all filled their plates and took their usual seats in the living room -- Adam and Shiro on the couch and Keith in the lounge chair -- and put on some cooking show (“So Shiro can finally learn to cook,” Adam teased, earning him a playful smack from Shiro). It was nice, being there, not having to worry about anything. Keith felt like he had some semblance of peace.

-.-.-

It didn’t last long though. As the night drew on, Keith’s need to check his phone got worse and worse. It was around midnight when everyone finally retired to their rooms, and as soon as Keith closed his door, he walked over and dumped the contents of his backpack on the bed. His phone bounced off a book and landed near his pillow, the black screen staring back at him.

His stomach churned at the thought of turning it on. He didn’t know what would be waiting for him. No doubt there would be texts from Pidge and possibly Hunk. Maybe even a text or two from Matt. But what made him hesitate was the fact that he didn’t know if there’d be any messages from Lance.

He took a deep breath and turned it on, watching the screen go through the boot up screens before making it to his lock screen. It would take his phone a minute to collect all the notifications, and another minute before he’d even be able to open them. He stared at it, watching icons pop up as they came in.

There were a few texts from Pidge basically telling him that he’d made it home safe, that Matt said hi, and that their mom was wondering if he’d be over for New Year’s again. There was also a text from Matt saying hi, and Keith laughed, knowing that was just him being a smartass. No messages from Hunk, but that wasn’t unusual. He liked to just relax after finals before going home and destressing, and would basically be silent for a few days before texting any of them.

One more message popped up and it made Keith’s heart start to race and his breathing pick up.

**Pretty Boy** : We need to talk about last night.

It had been sent a few hours ago, no doubt while he’d been driving. Keith didn’t want to open the message. Didn’t want to answer him. Didn’t want to do anything except delete it and pretend he’d never seen it. But the longer he stared at it, the longer he tried to ignore it, the more it ate away at him.

**Keith** : We do.

Not even a second later, Keith’s phone was vibrating. A laughing picture of Lance popped up on his screen. _What is he doing up so late?_ Keith answered, putting the phone on speaker, his hands shaking too badly to hold it.

He sat on the floor beside his bed, the phone near his head. Lance didn’t say anything, and Keith’s throat felt too tight to say anything. Every time he opened his mouth, he felt like he was choking on air. His chest felt impossibly heavy, and his heart was beating so fast that he could hear it in his ears.

The silence was eating away at him, and after a minute, he finally broke. “Why were you kissing that person last night?” he blurted. It wasn’t what he’d wanted to say. He didn’t know what he’d wanted to say. Knew that it wasn’t that. But there it was, out in the open.

“Why does it matter?” Lance said, his voice sounding empty.

_Why does it matter?_ “Because we--”

“We’re not anything!” Lance half shouted, no doubt because he wasn’t alone, wherever he was. “We aren’t anything! We agreed that we weren’t anything. That we were just testing the waters. No strings attached, no feelings.”

Keith felt his stomach twist and tears threatening to fall. He knew that, of course he did. He was the one who’d agreed to it. But that didn’t mean that hearing Lance say it didn’t hurt. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t think he could say anything without breaking down. Not that Lance gave him the chance.

“Why should it matter if I kiss other people? No one ever said I couldn’t! No one said I wasn’t allowed to live my life just because we decided to do this, whatever this is!” Lance half shouted again, his voice sounding exasperated. Keith bit his lip, feeling anger starting to bubble up. “I can do whatever the hell I want, kiss whoever the hell I want, and I shouldn’t be seen as some monster for doing so.”

Something snapped in Keith. “You know why it bugs me? Aside from the fact that we were supposed to hang out and we were supposed to have a fun night together? Because, surprise! I’m gay for you! The whole time that we were ‘nothing’, I’d been coming to terms with that and working up the nerve to tell you. Trying to be brave enough to. You know why? Because I thought you might’ve actually felt the same! Thought that maybe, hey, you might’ve actually wanted more!”

Keith’s chest heaved and tears were starting to fall and he knew he was shouting, but he didn’t care. He needed Lance to know exactly how he felt. “Clearly you don’t! Cool, awesome, whatever! You’re free to kiss whoever the hell you want! Hell, you’re free to do whoever you want! Sorry I wasted your time!” he shouted. He didn’t give Lance the chance to say anything, instead fumbling for his phone and ending the call as the first sob came.

Several texts from Lance came through, but Keith ignored them, and silenced his phone when Lance started trying to call him. He was angry and hurt and crying and the last thing he wanted was to talk to him. He threw his phone across his room, hearing it hit the wall next to his door and slide to the floor.

“Fuck!!” Keith yelled, crying. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face in them as he sobbed. This felt worse than the night before. His heart felt like it was actually shattered, and that those shards were stabbing the inside of his chest. He felt sick, his stomach knotted so tightly that he was sure he was going to throw up.

He heard his door open and someone walk in, but he couldn’t make himself look up. Could only keep his face hidden while he cried. Someone hugged him, pulling him into their chest, and another sob ripped through his throat. He wrapped his arms around them, crying into their chest.

“Hey, it’s okay Keith. You’re okay.” Shiro’s voice, soft and gentle. His hand rubbed circles into his back while he cried. His throat hurt, both from yelling and crying, but he couldn’t stop. He hurt too much.

Adam came in a few minutes later, adding to Shiro’s hug. Keith’s eyes stung from crying, and he was sure there were snot stains on Shiro’s shirt. No one said anything, the only sound coming from Keith as he cried.

It felt like forever before Keith started to calm down. He leaned away from Shiro, feeling Adam pull away to give him space. “Sorry about your shirt,” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his jacket sleeve. Shiro laughed a little, looking down at it.

“Eh, it’s just a shirt. I’ve got plenty of those,” Shiro said. Keith nodded, not being able to look at him. He still felt sick, and he felt like he was going to start crying again. “So, you wanna tell us what happened?” he said softly.

Keith bit his lip. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to tell them without crying. Didn’t know if he’d be able to speak without feeling like his heart was being ground to dust.

“You don’t have to if you can’t yet. We heard some of it through the walls. There’s no pressure to,” Adam said behind him. Keith nodded, rubbing away the tears that had started to form again. He sniffed, trying to breathe, and heard Adam laugh a little. “Maybe you should get cleaned up first.”

Shiro stood and offered him a hand, and he took it, feeling his legs shake as he stood. Adam was behind him keeping him steady, and Keith muttered a thank you before walking down the hall to the bathroom. He closed the door and sank to the floor, taking a few shuddering breaths.

He could hear Adam and Shiro talking but couldn’t make out what they were saying. He couldn’t focus on much except the pain in his chest and the stinging of tears in his eyes. He stood and looked at himself in the mirror.

His face was red and blotchy, and there were tear stains down his cheeks. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot and glistened in the light from the tears that kept forming no matter how much he rubbed them away.

He grabbed a tissue and blew his nose, feeling less like he was suffocating. It didn’t help much with the redness, but it made him feel a little more human. He looked at himself again and scowled at the fact that his hair was a knotted mess. He put it in a low ponytail, containing it somewhat.

Keith turned on the cold water, letting it run for a second as he willed away more tears. He didn’t want to cry anymore. Was tired of crying. He cupped water in his hands and splashed it on his face, jumping a little from the sudden temperature difference. The shock of it took his mind off of everything for a moment, and he splashed a second handful on himself, and then a third.

When he looked at himself again, the redness had gone down a little and he looked a little less like a mess. He dried his face and blew his nose one more time before walking out of the bathroom. He found Adam and Shiro standing outside his room looking down the hall. Keith bit his lip and walked towards them.

“Feel better?” Adam asked. Keith nodded, looking away.

“I’m sorry I woke you guys up,” he said, guilt flooding his body for a second.

Adam pulled him into a hug. “Don’t be. I told you that Shiro and I were always here for you if you needed it. It’s what family is for, isn’t it?”

Keith nodded, biting his lip again, trying to hold back more tears. “Thank you guys.”

“Anything for you kiddo,” Shiro said. Keith pulled away from Adam and rubbed his eyes. “How about you get changed while I make us some hot chocolate? Come downstairs when you’re ready. We’ll watch that dumb cryptid movie you like so much.”

Keith snorted, smiling ever so slightly. “It’s not dumb. It’s a cinematic masterpiece and you know it.”

“Whatever you say, you weirdo,” Shiro said, starting for the stairs. Adam followed and Keith walked into his room.

He glanced down at his phone, breathing a sigh of relief to find that the screen wasn’t cracked. He picked it up, swiping away Lance’s messages quickly. He didn’t want to read them. Didn’t want to know what he had to say. He turned his phone off and plugged it in.

Keith threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, shivering a little at the cool air in his room. He pulled the hair tie out of his hair and ran his fingers through it, wincing a little as his fingers caught on the knots. When he felt like he’d sufficiently detangled it, he threw it back in a ponytail.

He padded downstairs and met Adam and Shiro in the kitchen. “Feel more human?” Shiro said, handing him a mug of hot chocolate. Keith nodded and took a sip, closing his eyes and humming a little as the warmth of the drink chased away some of the shadows in his heart.

He walked to the living room and curled up in the chair, putting the mug on the table next to him. Adam took his normal seat, and Shiro tossed Keith a blanket. He wrapped it around himself and pulled it tightly around him. After Shiro was situated, he turned on the movie. They’d barely gotten into it when Keith fell asleep.

-.-.-

He ended up telling them what had happened the next day after being bribed with chocolate chip waffles and ice cream for breakfast (and the fact that Shiro kept asking him if he was okay any time Keith went quiet). They weren’t too pleased to hear about the arrangement he and Lance had made, saying that it was never going to work the way he’d wanted, and that while most of the blame was on Lance because of what he did, some of it still fell on Keith for letting it happen.

“The best thing for you to do is to not talk to him for a while, so both of you can figure out what’s going to happen next,” Shiro said, picking up their dishes and carrying them to the sink. “I’m not saying forever. Just long enough to get your thoughts figured out so you two can have a conversation without either of you hurting the other any more than you have.”

Keith sank into his chair a little, biting his lip. He knew all of this already, it was the same speech the last time he’d been broken up with (James and him had always had a rocky relationship, but the last fight they’d had had really messed with Keith’s head and it hadn’t ended well). “You know I don’t do well with that,” he muttered, looking down at the table.

Adam nudged his foot and Keith looked up at him. “We know. We remember what happened the last time. And from what I’ve gathered, Lance likes to text you a lot, so you’re bound to break. I think you should block him for the time being--” Keith tried to argue but Adam gave him a look “--so you can sort things out. It’ll be better for both of you that way.”

Keith shook his head and looked back down at the table. Not talk to Lance? He didn’t like the idea. Silence to him felt suffocating when things were wrong. It felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff and looking down, unable to see the ground but knowing it was there. It felt like if he took one too many steps forward then he’d start falling and crash painfully. He didn’t like it.

“Or if you’d rather not block him, I can always confiscate your phone like we used to do when you were in high school,” Adam said nonchalantly. Keith looked up at him. He had a challenging look in his eyes but an innocent smile.

Keith narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Adam smirked and Keith groaned. He knew he would do it. He always followed through with his threats. “Fine. I’ll do it after I shower,” he conceded, really not wanting to go the whole break without his phone.

“Good. Now then, Kosmo is in desperate need of a bath today and since you’re here, I think it’s only right that you do it. It’ll be good to keep your mind off of things as well as letting you spend time with him. He really does miss you,” Adam said, pushing away from the table and stretching.

Keith rolled his eyes but smiled when he looked over to see Kosmo sitting by the door waiting to be let out. It had been a while since he’d gotten to spend time with him, and if he was being honest, he really missed him too. Keith stood and walked over, laughing a little as Kosmo started weaving between his legs. He really did miss him.

-.-.-

True to his word, Keith had blocked Lance. He wasn’t surprised to find that Lance hadn’t texted him when he opened his phone. Wasn’t surprised to find texts from both Pidge and Hunk asking if everything was okay between them. He decided to answer those by saying he was fine. He didn’t want to involve them in any of it.

It was a week before Keith unblocked him, and during that time, he’d gotten several texts from Hunk saying that Lance was starting to freak out and that whatever happened didn’t matter and that he needed to talk to him. Those irked him a little, but he knew Hunk was only saying it because Lance was a childhood friend and he just wanted him to be okay.

Pidge had sent a few texts of similar content, but they tried to keep their annoyance at the situation and mass texting out of their texts. It didn’t help much though. Keith still got the same sentiment he’d gotten from Hunk:

_Quit being the bad guy and talk to him._

As though Keith had been the one kissing other people. As though he was the one who’d broken his heart. As though everything was Keith’s fault.

He chose not to respond to their texts for a few days. He didn’t want to blow up on them and hurt them, and he knew they’d eventually give up. Towards the end of the week, Hunk quit texting him. His last text said that he was worried about them and that he really wanted them to figure out whatever was wrong.

Pidge stopped texting about it midway through the week, and they were able to have normal conversations again. Turns out Matt’s mom bribed him into getting a haircut with some mixing equipment thing he’d been wanting for forever, and now it was super short and similar to his dad’s haircut.

**Keith** : Old man Matt, huh? What’s next, grey hair dye?  
 **Gremlin** : Nah, I think he wants to dye it green or something. Not that mom will ever let him.

Keith shook his head. Matt with green hair would be a look and would fit in perfectly with the club he DJed at. He bit his lip, frowning a little. He didn’t want to think about that place, so he pushed it away.

They texted back and forth for a little while longer until Pidge had to go for some mother-daughter (mother-child? Keith wasn’t too sure) bonding thing. Keith sent a goodbye and turned his phone off, staring up at the ceiling. For the first time that week, he didn’t feel like he was lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. Didn’t feel like he was drowning from everything.

He turned his phone back on, tapping into his and Lance’s thread. The last text he had from him had been from the night they’d fought, and Keith’s stomach twisted thinking about that night. He went to his contact settings and unblocked him, closing his eyes as his phone buzzed over and over in his hand.

When he opened them again, there were a ton of new messages. He scrolled up to where they started, reading through them. Most of them were apologies, some as simple as “I’m sorry” and some being paragraphs of text. A few of them were angry or frustrated, saying things like “You can blame me for this, but I don’t think I deserve that” and “You can’t be mad at me, I didn’t do anything wrong”, and those ones felt like knives in his heart.

There were tears in his eyes by the time he got to the last few messages.

**Pretty Boy** : Keith, look, I am so sorry for everything I said. I was upset and frustrated because I didn’t know. We weren’t supposed to get attached -- we agreed not to get attached. And then you did and I didn’t know what to do. I got mad because of what you said about how you’d wasted my time, because you hadn’t. You didn’t waste anything.  
 **Pretty Boy** : I was more scared than anything, cause I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t know you felt that way. Cause I feel the same.  
 **Pretty Boy** : I didn’t want to, because having feelings, getting attached, meant one of us was going to get hurt, and I didn’t want that. I never wanted to hurt you, and I did. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make it up to you. But I want to.  
 **Pretty Boy** : You are so smart, so funny, so kind and handsome and the way you look when you sleep is just so adorable and you make my heart swell with happiness whenever I even get a text from you. You make me so happy, and I was so scared of losing you if I ever told you.  
 **Pretty Boy** : And then you told me and it was like everything clicked into place and came crashing down around me all at once. I know I screwed up, knew it when you saw me kissing that guy. But all I could think about was “If I do this, then I won’t lose him. He’ll play it off as me being drunk.” But you didn’t. You looked so hurt and you ran off. I was too drunk to realize it, to realize that I was making a mistake  
 **Pretty Boy** : Not talking to you is the worst part. I deserve the cold shoulder. I deserve so much worse than that, and it’s been hell. I want to talk to you so much, but I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I screwed up, big time, and I’m so sorry. Just, please call me?

Keith was crying when he finished reading them. He didn’t know what to feel. He hurt, but he didn’t know if it was from their fight, having to remember the night at the club, or because of Lance’s texts. Some part of him was overjoyed at knowing Lance felt the same.

He wasn’t really aware of what he was doing until Lance was answering his phone. “Keith? Oh thank god you called! I’m so sorry for everything. I was so scared you hated me,” Lance blurted, rushing through his words.

“You idiot,” Keith said, his voice cracking a little.

“Okay, I deserved that,” Lance said with a small laugh.

“Actually, you deserve a lot worse than that. But I think I’ll leave it there,” Keith said, smiling a little.

“To be fair, I’m not the one who gave the cold shoulder.”

“And I wasn’t the one who was kissing other people.”

Lance was quiet for a moment. “...touché.” Keith laughed and he could practically hear the grin Lance had through his sigh.

It was weird how everything felt like it had before. How normal it was. As though they’d never had that fight to begin with. Never confessed to each other. It was weird, but Keith liked it.

They were quiet for a minute, as though they were in a bubble where everything felt right, and if someone spoke, then the bubble would break. But Keith knew it had to be broken. Knew they had to talk about what had happened and what was going to happen between them.

“Did you mean it?” Keith asked quietly, popping the bubble. His heart rate had picked up a little and he felt like he was holding his breath without actually holding his breath. Lance was quiet, and the longer he was, the more Keith thought that he had made the wrong decision in speaking.

“Yeah, I did. Or, I do,” Lance said, his voice quiet. Keith felt relief wash over him. He laughed a little, feeling all the anxious energy that’d been building up start to leave.

“I’m glad,” he said, sighing. He closed his eyes, a smile spreading across his face.

“Do you remember that night we were studying and then gave up? Before finals week?” Lance asked, sounding a little nervous. Keith hummed, thinking back to that night. “I heard you that night. When you said you loved me.”

Keith froze for a second, having completely forgotten he’d even said it. He started laughing a second later. “How did you not connect the dots that I had feelings for you then?”

“I don’t know!” Lance said, laughing. “I guess I’m a little dense. Or I didn’t believe you. Or whatever!” Keith laughed at his word vomit and Lance groaned. “Stop laughing!”

“How can I not laugh at the fact that I basically confessed to you and you didn’t believe me!” Keith laughed again, this time louder.

Lance groaned again, but Keith could hear the smile in the sound. “You’re the worst.”

“Nah, that’s you.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, and Keith knew there was a question hanging in the silence that neither of them were touching. Lance was the one to reach out to it. “Will you give me the chance to show you that I love you too?”

“About time you finally asked.” Lance sputtered and Keith laughed. “Yes, I will.”

-.-.-

Keith walked into the coffee shop near campus, sighing happily when a wall of coffee smells hit him. They still had a few days until classes started up for the spring semester, but it’d been weeks since he’d seen his friends and he really needed the social interaction.

Pidge and Hunk were at their usual table by the window, and Keith could see several cups sitting in front of them. Keith walked over, dropping his bag to the floor, and Hunk engulfed him in a hug. “God, I hate breaks,” Hunk said. “I don’t get to see you guys.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Keith said, laughing and hugging him back. Hunk let go and Pidge instantly took his place. “Good to know that even Pidge missed me.”

“Shut it, you asshole. You disappeared for a week!” they said, making a face at him as they let go.

“Yeah, well, things happened.” They all knew what ‘things’ had happened. After Keith and Lance had figured out their situation, they’d texted the others saying everything was good between them, and Lance may or may not have completely gushed to Hunk about them dating, who in turn spammed Keith with texts about it. Pidge was pretty indifferent about it when he told them, but that was pretty usual for them.

“We are never doing that again,” Hunk said. Keith laughed a little, sitting in the seat near the window.

“I definitely don’t plan on it happening again.” He reached forward and took one of the cups marked with an ‘X’ knowing that it was straight black coffee. Pidge always marked it so it didn’t get confused with their drink.

“You’re a monster for drinking straight black coffee,” Pidge said.

“As if you don’t tell me that everyday.”

They fell into easy conversation, telling each other about their breaks. Hunk had taken a couple cooking classes and had some new recipes that he wanted to try, and they were all for trying them. His mom had also sent back several containers of cookies, so they decided that before the day was over, they’d have a cookie party (“Just to make sure the cookies didn’t go bad”).

Pidge told Hunk about Matt’s hair fiasco, and how he’d gone ahead and dyed it green, much to their mom’s horror. “She was not pleased in the slightest, but dad was on board. He even asked if Matt could dye his hair blue. Mom threatened to shave dad’s head if he did.” They’d also gotten accepted into an intern program at some science lab over the summer back home, and they were really excited about it.

Keith didn’t get the chance to tell them about his break. He opened his mouth to speak and a bouquet of chrysanthemums was shoved in his face. Red petals obscured his vision and the sudden influx of pollen made him sneeze. He looked up at whoever had gotten them and smiled when he saw Lance standing there.

“Pidge said these were your favourite, and I read that different colours of flowers have meanings,” Lance said, his cheeks tinted red. “I don’t really think I need to tell you what the red ones mean.”

He smiled more, taking the flowers and setting them on the table. Of course he didn’t. Universally, red flowers meant ‘I Love You’. “I love them,” Keith said. Lance’s face flushed more and he pulled something from his pocket.

“I also got you this.” He handed Keith a small, dark purple box. He took it and opened it. Inside was a silver moon pendant attached to a thin chain. The curve of the moon suggested that it came as a set. He looked up at Lance and saw he was wearing a gold sun necklace, the size of the pendant fitting perfectly with his.

“Is this too cheesy?” he asked, biting his lip.

Keith stood, walking up to him. “No, it’s perfect.” Lance smiled a little and Keith leaned in, kissing him softly. There were protests from Pidge and Hunk about how they should get a room, but he ignored them, laughing against Lance’s lips. “Thank you for the gifts.”

He stepped away and Lance blinked at him in shock. Keith laughed a little, pulling him down into the seat next to him. He made a show of lacing their hands together, earning a gag from Pidge. He leaned against Lance while he and Hunk talked about their breaks, and he smiled.

Even though their friend group had shifted a little, everything felt right. He was happy, and after everything that had happened, he deserved at least a speck of happiness. Keith smiled and closed his eyes. He may have fallen accidentally in love with Lance, but he wouldn’t take it back even if he wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> As a side note, I did start this with the intention of getting back at someone that I used to date (does that make me petty? Maybe). And while that sentiment is still there (as can be seen in the things Lance does and the way Keith reacts), I think it evolved more into a fic about being honest with yourself and letting yourself feel the things you do. Lance is written intentionally to be seen as a little... evil, for lack of a better word to describe it, because it's the only way to get Keith to realize these things. It's why I gave him the support system of Adam and Shiro. It's why I have the latter half of the fic play out the way it does. It's also why I gave Keith a happy ending. Because he deserved it after all the crap he went through.


End file.
